David Rossi was not the tag-along type and he'd made that very clear when he agreed to come and help Hotch pick a girl. He wouldn't go on any of the dates, group or otherwise, and he wouldn't be subjected to by the book clichéd moments. Which was the reason he'd fought tooth and nail to simply show up with Hotch at the cocktail party after their week of dates and he had one goal in mind and one goal only: he was going to judge them on first impressions.
He'd dealt with too many superficial people in his life, thanks to the success of his books and he could spot it half way across a country. He could tell a liar from across the room and had way too much practice in the behavioural sciences to miss any of the subtle nuances in the six women in the room He didn't need dates or long conversations to gauge which were genuine and which weren't.
But there was another reason he only wanted one night. He really didn't want to give the women any time to clarify or explain statements. He didn't want to give them a chance to realize they'd said something that could hurt their chances. He wanted them as open as he could and thus, laid on the charm in the process in an attempt to ensure that the women simply opened up to him. Most of them did without question, without reservation, aware that, like Derek, he could have a huge influence on the next woman that left this cozy little group.
Actually, the first thing Dave had noticed when he'd walked into the room with Hotch was that there were definitely two camps going on here. Well, it was the second thing. The first thing was the way Hotch had tensed up when they walked into the room. Dave wondered if it was because he was preparing himself for the Rose Ceremony ahead of him or if it was because something had happened over the course of the week to make him doubt one of these women.
"Hotch?" he murmured out of the corner of his mouth, even though he smiled his way through Chris' introduction.
"Later," the younger man murmured back as he was immediately accosted by two blonds. He seemed to relax marginally so Dave left it at that and made his way over to the other four. It was about an hour, and the exchange the blonds for a woman he learned was Taylor, that he noticed the silence of one particular woman in the room. As he looked around, he made a startling observation. Emily had gone missing.
"Excuse me, ladies," he said politely, and they didn't seem to mind letting him wander away. So he did, trying to look like he was busy while simultaneously trying to find the brunette that was missing.
Emily had caught his attention almost immediately and if she hadn't been on the show, he was sure he would have at the very least made a pass at her. On the outside, she was stunning, statuesque and Dave knew of money, politics and privilege. Yet here she was, on television, vying for a man's heart. And, as he'd learned from Hotch, worked at the State Department. While it didn't really surprise him upon finding out she was well versed in the ways of politics, it did surprise him at the same time. Women of money and privilege rarely went for anything less than a high-paying job that could maintain their standard of living. Dave would bet the State Department didn't pay half as much as whatever her parents did to get the money.
He found her outside, and made sure to make noise as he approached. Her heels lay on the ground less than a foot from the leg of the porch swing she pushed with bare toes. Her other leg was curled beneath her, her hands hugging her stomach. Something was not right in Emily's world.
"Penny for your thoughts."
She smiled slightly. "You know, those were Aaron's first words to me. Well, the first thing he wanted to ask me, anyway."
That told Dave more about her and her state of mind than he would bet she wanted him to know. "Was it?"
"I could tell by the look on his face," she said with a shrug.
He gestured to the empty spot beside her and she nodded. He sat, letting her control the pace of the swing. "You read behaviour?"
"A little. Nothing like you. Nothing like Aaron."
"We've had a little bit more practice," Dave joked.
"Years worth of practice," she agreed with a little bit of a smile. "My expertise lies mainly in watching politicians."
"Which would by why you can keep such a good poker face. Your body language needs work."
"Not something I generally bother to try and work on," she replied. "Especially if there's no need for it." She paused for a moment. "How many pennies do you have?"
"How many are you going to need?" he replied with a smile.
"I'm a naturally curious person," she began, tucking her leg beneath her other one. The swing continued its rocking motion without her help. "I guess I started asking too many questions when I was out with Aaron, Taylor and Kate. I just... if I'm going to make any kind of relationship work with Aaron, I want to know what his job is. More than that, I want him to be able to talk about it with me."
"Our job isn't easy to talk about, Emily," he told her. "We see a lot of things no one else wants to."
"But it's important to him," she replied, trying to hide her emotionality in a matter-of-fact tone. "He closed down. Now I feel guilty."
"For asking?"
"For prying," she answered.
"How do you know if you were prying? Did you ask?" Dave asked.
"I know. I saw."
Dave connected the dots. Hotch's tense posture when he walked into the house. Emily's quiet demeanour... They were connected. "Hotch's job is very important to him," he agreed.
"All I want to know is how to handle it. I want to be able to be there for him and I can't if I don't know what he goes through, what he's going through,"
"Emily, you have to trust him."
"With all due respect, Agent Rossi, I don't know if I can do that. Not if he won't talk to me."
She didn't trust easily. He wasn't sure that was a help of a hindrance in the long run. And he had to give her credit. Not many people would voluntarily ask questions about a job like theirs. There was too much danger involved, too many ways they saw a human take the life of another human. It wasn't easy to explain it to any one and even more people didn't want to hear about it. "I'm sure he wants to," Dave said finally. "It's just hard for people who are used to closing themselves off to open up again?"
"You think I don't know that?" she asked softly, not looking at him but out across the grassy backyard of the women's mansion. "As a woman, to stay in this so-called game, you have to be willing to open up much faster than you would in a regular relationship. Aaron knows things about me that my best friends don't even know. He has the real potential to hurt me if he sends me home."
"You shouldn't be telling me this," he told her frankly. "You should be telling him."
Emily sighed. "I'm not sure how," she admitted. "I can't decide whether I want to go home and save myself the possibility of getting hurt more or if I want to solve this and stay and..."
"Hotch is a complicated man, Emily," Dave interrupted softly, having seen Hotch heading across the grass toward him. "An extremely complicated man. You are a complicated woman and I can tell that from the very little we've talked. If you want my opinion, stay. But it's not my choice to make."
Aaron had been accosted by each woman in turn, but the one woman he knew he had to talk to, Emily had taken him by surprise when she'd started really asking him about his job. No woman he'd ever met, ever gone out with, had asked him about his job in the detail Emily seemed to want. They had been in a private space, talking softly, but he'd been surprised. He closed down. He couldn't do anything else. But he wanted to talk to her. He hadn't been surprised to find her outside. He had been surprised to find her with Dave. He wasn't sure what to say as he approached. Dave made the decision for him. After murmuring something to Emily, too low for him to hear, he stood from the swing and made his way toward Hotch. The older man clapped him on the shoulder as he walked passed.
Aaron stopped in front of Emily, unsurprised when she wouldn't meet his eyes. "I wanted to talk to you."
Her eyes met his then, and he could read so much in them. "Do I want to hear it?"
"Do you mind if I sit?"
"I hate it when you answer a question with a question," she said, even as she nodded.
He took a seat, trying not to notice the way she'd tucked her legs beneath her. He had noticed she had a tendency to do that. More so, it certainly seemed like she hated shoes. "It's a habit."
Silence fell for a few moments before she cocked her head to the side. "You wanted to talk to me?"
"I owe you an apology," he told her, looking up at the way the clouds were sliding over to cover the stars.
"A what?"
"An apology?" she asked in surprise. "You don't owe me an apology at all. If anything, I owe you an apology."
Aaron blew out a breath. "You only wanted to know something that's a core part of me and I shot you down."
"I shouldn't have pried."
"Isn't that what I did?" he asked.
She shrugged. "Different situations."
"Same situation. Painful memory, painful job."
"We live through it. I understand."
"I want you to," he said, reaching out to her, dropping his hand on one of the arms still wrapped around her stomach. "I want to explain it to you."
Emily finally turned her eyes to him. "Then do it."
"It's not that easy, Emily. I can't just explain to you what my job is, the things I see. I see too much and it's not your burden to bear."
"Because you don't want me to," she replied, taking his hand nonetheless and entwining their fingers. "You could let me in, Aaron. You could tell me about the things you see, but you think I can't handle it."
He opened his mouth to respond, but she pressed a finger against his mouth.
"Whether you want to or not, that's what you think. You think that the kind of things you see are too painful for anyone else to see."
He could tell she was on a roll now. She was getting the glaze in her eye that he recognized as the same one that had when they'd been curled up together in his bed in the house he was staying in. Or so he thought. The eyes he turned on her were clear, full of emotion, of pain, of the need to understand.
"There is nothing a human can do to another human that is worse than psychological damage, Aaron. There is nothing you can tell me that is going to be new and different to either what I've seen or what I've experienced."
His hand came up to her cheek, knowing that was the only way he was going to get her actual attention. "I want to tell you. I've never had someone ask me the questions you asked me."
Emily searched his eyes. "What kind of cases do you work?"
He knew this was his turn to open up like she had about her friends' suicide. If she'd trusted him, this fantastic, gorgeous, brilliant woman, then he could definitely trust her in return. More than that, he should trust her.
"We take on cases that no one else can see. Mutilation, torture... you name it, if it's terrible, I've probably seen it. I've seen people eat the flesh of someone else. I've seen a man who kept the hearts of his victims. I've seen a man lock up three co-eds because he thought he was showing them the people they truly were and make two of them beat another one to death with a hammer. He'd convinced them it was the only way he'd ever let them out. I've played poker with a serial killer for information, and that's just scratching the surface."
She nodded, rubbing her cheek on his palm in the process. Her hand came up to cover his and she moved closer. "What else?"
He blew out a breath, even as he pulled her closer, arranged her across his lap and started the swing. He found the movement oddly soothing. "Emily, you really can't ask me that." She had to know she was pushing her luck to ask him anything else.
"Tell me one more thing," she requested, making sure she was still holding his eyes.
He couldn't say no to her vulnerable gaze. "I'll try."
"Which ones are the worst?"
Aaron held her tighter, resting his forehead against hers. "The children. It will always be the children."
Her hand combed through his hair. "Do you have nightmares?" she whispered.
This was a level of vulnerability he wasn't sure he was comfortable with, but the openness in her face, he knew she'd be able to tell if he told her anything other than the truth. "Often."
"You didn't have any the night I stayed over," Emily pointed out softly. It wasn't meant to be anything other than a statement and Aaron was thankful for that.
But it did give him the perfect opportunity to lighten the mood. "How could I have nightmares with such a strong woman beside me?"
She laughed, as he'd intended. He kissed her through her laughter, his arms linking together behind her back. Once again, their foreheads came together as they broke to catch their breath a few minutes later.
"You can hurt me, you know," she said quietly. "I've never given anyone that power so quickly."
Her words humbled him in a way he was sure she would never be able to understand. Because, as he'd learned, Emily didn't see herself the way he did. She didn't see the endless compassion she hid behind compartmentalizing boxes. She didn't see the way her beautiful exterior didn't do justice to her interior. He knew the six weeks of this experience would never be enough in trying to get to know Emily.
He was about to lean in to kiss her when he heard his name across the expanse of the yard. He sighed, recognizing Dave's voice calling him in. It was time for him to choose who was going to stay and who was going to go. He felt his heart contract slightly as Emily stood, moving to slip her shoes back on. He waited for her, holding out a hand. He grinned at her as she took it, pulling her closer as they made the trek across the sprawling grass.
He kissed her temple as they hit the stone of the patio, "You can hurt me too."
Aaron stood in front of all five women apprehensively. He hated this part of what he was doing. He wasn't sure if this was as bad as having to choose between Kate and Whitney. Two-on-one dates were the worst creation in this whole process. The guilt began to gnaw at his inside again as he twisted the first rose between his fingers. Kate was the only one with the rose tonight and another one of the five women was going home.
He took a deep breath. "Shaena." He waited until she came forward. "Will you accept this rose?"
He kissed her cheek and allowed her to walk back to her place in line. Then he picked up the next rose. "Emily."
He grinned as her entire body relaxed visibly and she blew out a breath in relief. He felt a shot of adrenaline race through his system as her fingers brushed his. "Will you accept this rose?"
"Absolutely."
He was down to one rose and two women. Haley and Taylor stood in front of him, both of them looking ridiculously tense. "Haley." Pause. "Will you accept this rose?"
"Of course."