Aaron looked out over the ocean on the Mexican shoreline in absolute turmoil. Haley was a sweet southern belle, but Emily was the mystery. With Haley, he felt like his job didn't exist, but with Emily he didn't feel like he had to hide anything. It was a tough decision to make, to have to choose between the two women here with him in Mexico.
More than that, Aaron was very much aware that he was going to have to break one woman's heart, and part of his at the same time. There was a lot of pressure in the decision he was about to make. While his teammates had been sure to fill him in on the statistics of The Bachelor couples that had stayed together, Aaron believed he was in love and he believed that proposing was the right thing to do. With a heavy sigh, he turned back to his villa to begin preparing for the Final Rose Ceremony.
Emily was anxious as the limo pulled up to the path that would lead her down to Aaron. This was it. This was the moment she'd waited six weeks for. This was the moment that was either going to change her life completely, or break her heart. Her feelings were strong for him, there was no doubt about it. She wasn't sure she was prepared to call it love, but she knew it was the strongest she'd ever felt for anyone. There was no way to tell whether Haley had been here already or not, and she had no idea if she was the first woman who was walking the path Chris led her on. She took a deep breath when she caught sight of Aaron standing a quick walk away.
She made her way towards him her heart pounding, hands shaking terribly as she picked up the hem of her dress. Finally, she stood before him. "Hey."
"Hey," he said, hugging her to him tightly.
"How are you?" she asked quietly.
He chuckled slightly. "I don't know."
Emily felt her heart clench as she saw the tears in his eyes.
"Emily... You're a very special woman. I've... you've opened my eyes to so many things, to a different way of looking at my world. You have taken me on a ride I never expected. You've blown me away through the entirety of this experience. You've kept me grounded, you've kept me sane and you've shown an understanding I've never experienced before."
Emily found herself breathing deep.
"My job is to make the hard decisions. My job is to make sure that no one gets hurt and yet, I'm standing here... About to break your heart."
By some sheer force of iron will, Emily managed to hold back the moisture that was pooling in her eyes. Blood rushed in her ears as he looked down at the ground.
He hadn't chosen her.
"I'll walk you out," he said quietly, taking her hand.
She let him, keeping as much of the pain in her as tight as possible. She wouldn't cry in front of him, not over this. Suddenly, she stopped. If there was one thing she deserved, it was an explanation.
"Why?"
"Pardon?"
"If you think I'm such a fantastic person and you've... and we've shared all of this... Why are you letting me go?"
"Because I need someone who loves me."
"It isn't enough that I care?" she asked, feeling almost more vulnerable now than she did lying in bed and telling him about her boarding school friend. "Isn't it enough that I have the strongest feelings for you? Stronger than anyone else I've ever felt for in my life?"
"Tell me you love me," he demanded, holding her hands tightly in his own. "Tell me you love me and everything changes right now."
She took a deep breath. Nothing had changed. Apparently telling him her feelings were stronger than she'd ever felt before simply wasn't enough. "I can't."
"I thought so," Aaron said with a slow nod.
Emily had known it would be her downfall. There was no doubt about that, but honesty was the first thing she governed her life by and she wasn't about to forgo her morals and lie about something she didn't believe could be found in six weeks. Still, her mouth seemed to work without the conscious permission of her brain. "I'm not going to tell you something I'm not sure I mean, Aaron. I'm not going to think about deluding you into believing something I'm not sure of myself." Then she smiled sadly, tightening her hands around his slightly. "I hope you're making the right decision. I hope you're happy."
Where she got the strength to walk back up the path to her waiting limo she'd never know, but she could feel the tears blurring her eyes as she slid into the seat. She should have known better. There was always something that stopped her, something that screwed her over. If it wasn't her job and the time she spent there, it was her family. If it wasn't her family, it was her fear. And Emily knew herself well enough to know that most of the reason she wasn't sure of whether or not she loved Aaron. She knew it had been a long time since she'd felt as intensely as she did for Aaron, but she wasn't ready to be that vulnerable. She wasn't deluding herself into thinking that everything was going to be okay once everyone got back into the real world. All of a sudden, there would be jobs, there would be friends, there would be other things in the way of the fairy tale relationship that the show built.
So she wiped a tear from where it was falling from her lashes and settled herself into the leather of the limo. Tomorrow, she would go back to work and she'd see JJ and Penelope. And after a while she'd be okay.