“We have to do something.” Hotch said, quietly. He wasn’t sneaking, but he still felt like he had something to hide.
“Like what?” Rossi absentmindedly replied.
“Do you even care?”
“Nope, not really,”
“You don’t think there’s a problem?”
“No.”
“Why the hell not? It’s an obsession.”
“So?”
“An unhealthy obsession,”
“No such thing,”
“Oh, come on!”
Rossi sighed.
“Look, if you can get the rest of the team to agree that this is an issue, I’ll consider it.”
“Fine,”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s 3:00. Reba’s on.”
Hotch rolled his eyes and left the office.
-----------------
“Hey, guys,” Hotch said, after checking to see if he was there, “Can I talk to you about something?”
Everyone gave various grunts of agreement and gathered around him.
“Have any of you noticed anything strange? With Reid?”
There was a moment of silent reflection.
“Not really.” JJ finally said.
“Seriously? I’m the only one who thinks he’s been acting weird?”
“What, you think he’s back on drugs?” Prentiss demanded, as she always did when she spoke.
“No, nothing like that…”
“Then what?”
“He’s been making comments, and I’m not sure what it means…”
“Is this about him wanting to have sex everything in sight?” Morgan asked.
Hotch stopped suddenly.
“So I’m not the only one who’s observed this?”
“Uh, no, dumbass,”
“Then why haven’t we done anything?”
“Because it’s hilarious?”
“You don’t find it disturbing?”
“Well, yeah, but in a hilarious way.”
“You find disturbing things funny?”
“Yes,”
“That’s…disturbing,”
Everyone in the room giggled. Hotch gave a long, exasperated sigh.
-----------------
“Colorado. What the hell kind of serial killer lives in Colorado?” Morgan said.
“Ted Bundy killed four people in Colorado.” Reid chimed.
“He didn’t live there, he was just passing through. Besides, that was in Vail. Vail doesn’t count as a part of Colorado, it’s too chic.”
“True. Ted Bundy was hot. I’d hit that.” Reid said.
Hotch sighed, as subtly as he could.
“So far, he’s killed three people,” JJ said, “Only thing in common is they’re all male alternative high school students.”
“Great,” Morgan whined, “Not only are we in fucking Colorado, but we have to deal with teenagers. Goddamn.”
“Think of them as fresh meat.” Reid said.
“…oddly, that helps.”
“I try.”
“What’s the MO?” Hotch asked, in an attempt to get everyone back on track.
“Well,” JJ said, “It’s kind of weird.”
Yes, because we are so unfamiliar with weird. Hotch thought.
“Staples,”
Silence.
“We need to buy office supplies?” Prentiss asked, with her usual tone of hurried seriousness.
“No, the MO is staples. He stapled into their arteries, specifically the carotid.”
“Huh. I never would have thought of that.” said Morgan.
“It’s quite genius, actually,” Rossi said, flipping through the TV guide. Hotch wondered why they had a TV guide at the FBI headquarters.
“Is that Wallace Langham on the cover?” Reid asked.
“I think so.”
“He’s hot. I’d hit that.”
“Anyway!” Hotch said, as loudly as he could without yelling, “When are we leaving?”
“We should probably go now, actually.” JJ said, checking her watch.
“Okay. Come on, everyone, into the van.”
“I call shotgun!” Reid said.
“You got shotgun last time!” Morgan responded.
“Nu-uh!”
“Ya-huh!”
“You’ll have to beat me to it!” Reid yelled as he took off.
“No fair! Rossi, tell him it’s my turn!”
“Stop fighting or we’re not getting McDonald’s on the way!”
Morgan grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest.
Hotch sighed.