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Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking by little_profiler



When Penelope stepped out of her front door that morning she was completely speechless at the sight in front of her. Happy that they all had gotten the day off she had decided to go out for lunch. She didn’t like cooking for just herself and mostly had something delivered. But sometimes she was in the mood to eat at her favorite restaurant.

“Oh… um… good morning.” Derek smiled as he looked into her puzzled face.

“What… are you doing here?” she finally managed to ask.

“Well” he shrugged, got up and took off the gloves. “I… I bleached it.” He pointed at the stairs where he had removed the last traces of her blood.

Penelope’s eyes filled with tears as she saw the perfectly clean stairs. How often had she wanted to do that so she wouldn’t have to look at the stains whenever she came or left her home? But she hadn’t been able to remove her own blood.

Raising her head to smile at him she wasn’t able to say more than a voiceless ‘thank you’.

“You’re welcome.” Derek smiled. He hadn’t been sure it was such a good idea to do that. He had feared she might blame him for not thinking she was capable of cleaning the stairs herself. But he couldn’t stand the thought that she would have to see those stains again when she left her home the next time after he had seen how much that sight affected her.

She didn’t say anything, just smiled at him with tears in her eyes.

Derek started to feel a little uncomfortable when she remained silent. “You know” he explained a little nervous. Wait, you, Derek Morgan, are nervous talking to a woman? “I… I wanted to be done before you leave your apartment. But this took me a little longer than I thought it would.”

“How… how long have you… already been here?” she stuttered, still a little stunned.

“Since… around eight.” he shrugged. She would probably snap at him once she had overcome this confusion. She hated it when he tried to take care of her.

To his surprise she pulled him into a tight hug and whispered once more: “Thank you.”

He sighed with relief and hugged her back.

Pulling back a little Penelope looked into his dark eyes for a moment before she leaned forward slightly.

“Baby girl” Derek stopped her in the middle of the movement. “As much as I want to happen what you’re about to do… I didn’t do this to… be rewarded.”

“I know.” she assured him in a very low voice. “I just… felt like it.”

“Well, in that case…” he smiled and leaned forward as well. His heartbeat sped up at the prospect of their first kiss.

They both hesitated. Their lips were only millimeters apart and they could both feel the other one’s hot breath.

“Wow.” Penelope whispered, her heart was pounding like mad. “This is… a big step.”

“Yeah.” was all Derek could reply before her soft lips met his.

Fearing that she would change her mind she quickly crossed the small distance and captured his lips with hers. She desperately wanted to kiss him and she didn’t want her doubts to keep her from just doing that.

Derek’s heart skipped a beat when their lips finally met. He didn’t dare deepen the kiss but when he felt her tongue demanding entrance he willingly opened his mouth.

When he didn’t make a move Penelope feared for a short moment that Derek didn’t want to kiss her. But then she decided to take matters into her own hands and was glad when he kissed her back. Moaning slightly she pulled him closer.

Derek ascended a step and pulled her soft body closer to his. Quickly their kiss became passionate and his heart started pounding like mad. He’d never dreamed of her allowing him to kiss her like this “ and he’d never imagined it could be so good.

Her lungs started to scream for air but she didn’t want to break the kiss. She’d never been kissed like that before. Derek’s lips were hot and soft and she melted at the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around her holding her tight against his smoking hot body.

“Good morning.” an elder blonde woman greeted as she passed the couple on her way into the building causing them to jump apart. She was gone before either of them could say a word.

“Indeed.” Derek chuckled.

Leaning their foreheads against each other they both panted hard for a few moments trying to catch their breath.

“You know, I was going to get me some lunch.” Penelope finally broke the silence. “Do you… want to join me?”

“Is that a date?” he asked playfully.

“Yeah.” she chuckled. “Yeah, it’s a date.”

“In this case, I’m in.” Derek grinned and led her to his car.

Penelope had never taken anyone to her favorite restaurant before. It was a little bit of privacy, some sort of secret she’d preserved for herself. But today she felt like sharing this secret.

The date was better than any date he’d ever been on. They flirted rampantly. Okay, there was nothing special about that but the touches in between were new. Penelope still was a little diffident on that score so most of the time it was him grabbing her hand over the table.

After lunch Derek convinced Penelope to take a walk by the Potomac. Seeing all the couples cuddling and kissing he desperately wanted to put his arm around her shoulders. But he wasn’t sure she would allow him to do so. So instead he gently took her hand in his and was relieved when she didn’t pull back.

Around five p.m. Derek drove his goddess back home. He had never felt so happy before. To describe this day with just one word was easy for him: perfect! Although he hoped that he would get another kiss before they said goodbye for the day.

However, when he drove into the parking lot Penelope surprised him by saying: “You know, I… um… don’t have any specific plans for tonight so… Would you… like to watch some movies perhaps?”

“Sounds great.” Derek smiled although he wasn’t sure he should accept the invitation. He didn’t want to go too fast. He could tell from Penelope’s behavior that she was still worried and nervous. Their relationship had started to move into a completely new direction.

On the other hand, he feared that if he’d declined she would think he didn’t want to let their relationship develop any further. So once he was sitting on her couch in front of the huge TV screen he tried to figure out all options he had. Maybe he should wait for her to make the next move. But maybe she’d never dare.

He could also try and make a move himself. But if he did Penelope could feel rushed. He didn’t want to do something she wasn’t yet up for. This could spoil their relationship before it had any chance to develop.

Sighing Derek decided that for the time being he would just wait and see.

Grinning Penelope handed him a huge bowl of popcorn and smiled: “Okay, I have ‘Love, Actually’, ‘Sleepless in Seattle’, ‘Notting Hill’, ‘Independence Day’, ‘Men in Black’ part one and two, ‘Jaws’ part one and two “ because part three and four are complete nonsense “ and ‘The Ring’ part one and two.”

Laughing heartily Derek teased: “How do these movies match?”

“Not at all.” she shrugged. “Pick one!”

“Okay, how about ‘Men in Black’ part two?” he suggested. “I love Frank and there’s much more of him in the second part.”

“Me too.” she smiled at him. “This little puppy is just too cute.”

Penelope was glad she had decided not to spend the evening alone regretting that she hadn’t asked Derek to watch movies with her. It was just too much fun and they soon ended up cuddling on her couch with the bowl of popcorn resting in Penelope’s lap.

A huge, radiant and teenager like smile spread across Derek’s face as he noticed that Penelope was slowly sliding closer to him on the couch. When her shoulder brushed against his he decided he could dare to put his arm around her.

Somewhere during the first half of the movie Penelope’s urge to cuddle with the dark-skinned version of a Greek god next to her became unbearable. So she slowly made her way closer to him until their shoulders met. Her heart leaped with joy when his arm slid around her shoulders giving her the opportunity to fully snuggle up against him. Placing both her legs on the couch she managed to lean just a little closer into the warm embrace.

After ‘Men in Black’ Derek let Penelope pick a movie and was not surprised but nonetheless glad that she picked one of the love movies. He wasn’t too fond of all that romantic stuff, but he had to admit that ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ was one of the better love movies. Plus these movies were always perfect for a little more cuddling.

“Should we order something for dinner?” Penelope asked halfway through the movie.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” Derek agreed. He still couldn’t believe she had invited him to her apartment and was now cuddling with him on her couch. Yet he had expected to be gently thrown out of her apartment after the second movie. Instead she’d ask him to stay for dinner. Now all he had to do was convince her that he wanted to stay forever.

A little unwillingly Penelope rose from the warm embrace to call a nearby Chinese restaurant. She definitely could get used to cuddling with Derek Morgan “ although she feared that he would soon want more. And he probably deserved to get more but she wasn’t sure she was ready to give it to him.

When Penelope returned to the couch and immediately snuggled back up against him Derek felt a prickle of pure joy in his stomach. He’d never been fond of cuddling either but he could definitely get used to cuddling with Penelope.

When the dinner arrived just two or three minutes after the film had ended Derek’s heart sank a little. They would eat and then Penelope would certainly want him to go. He couldn’t blame her for that nor did he have any intention of doing so. He shouldn’t stay. But he knew he wouldn’t find much sleep that night when he was missing the feeling of her warm body against his and the scent of her hair in his nose.

Nonetheless, he had to admit that this had been one of the happiest days in his life. He felt stupid being that excited about just one kiss and a little cuddling. But it was a start “ and he could already tell that it was the start of something good.

He enjoyed having dinner with her even more than their first date at lunch. When he watched her eating competently with the chopsticks he could very well imagine spending the rest of his life with her. It would most certainly never stop being fun.

“What?” Penelope asked when she noticed that Derek was pretty much staring at her. “Did I spill something?”

“No” he chuckled. “It’s just I… I’ve never seen anyone using those chopsticks like you do “ except of the few Chinese people I happen to know.”

“Well, I’ve been practicing for quite a while now.” she grinned. “I love Chinese food and I found out that it tastes much better if you eat it with the sticks.”

Laughing he pointed his two chopsticks at her and replied: “Who am I to argue with a statement like that?”

“The better question is where would you be after you dared argue with me!” she stated and gave him her best death stare.

Derek burst out laughing and Penelope couldn’t help but join him. She loved to see and hear him laughing “ and if it was because of something she said it was even better. No one laughed like he did and no one was able to make her laugh as he was. This day had been pure heaven. Maybe she had been wrong about him. This day made her believe that it really could work.

“Baby girl, thanks for a wonderful day. It’s been one of the best days I can remember.” Derek softly said when he helped her clear the table.

Penelope smiled without looking at him while she stored the leftover food away in her fridge. “You know” she answered in a low voice her head almost hidden in the fridge. “I have a lot of movies left so… the day doesn’t necessarily have to end yet.”

“Are you sure?” he frowned. Maybe he shouldn’t stay “ no matter how desperately he wanted to. Falling asleep with this goddess in his arms would make an already perfect day ideal.

She just shrugged and looked down. “Do you… not want to stay?” She asked hesitantly.

Now that was just perfect! He was caught between a rock and a hard place. For two obvious reasons he couldn’t say yes. First of all it would have been a lie and secondly it would certainly hurt her. He’d rather die than ever see her get hurt again “ let alone hurt her himself.

“Well… It’s not that I don’t want to stay… because I do, really.” He finally replied. “But… um… are you sure that you are… ready for that?”

“Can’t we just… continue to watch movies?” She asked still avoiding looking at him.

Derek stepped in front of her and made her look into his eyes. Smiling he said: “That would be pure pleasure.” Then he leaned down to place a tender kiss on her lips.

“I agree.” She whispered before she pulled him down for a more passionate kiss.
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