Emily relaxed in the seat of Esther as Penelope drove, thankful to be out of the house for a change. Hotch may throttle her, but the few hours in Penelope’s company was a welcome break from movies and music. There wasn’t even anything left to clean in Hotch’s house, and she’d ransacked his books days before. She was quite effectively bored. And starting to get cabin fever.
Plus, new memories were always a good way to attempt to fight off bad ones.
“You sure there’s no dirt you can give me on Boss Man?” Penelope begged for the hundredth time.
“Pen…” Emily’s tone was affectionate warning. She knew and loved the blond, but Penelope was their team’s gossip specialist. She knew anything she said would get back to Morgan and she really didn’t want to be blamed for a team fallout because she’d let something slip. “How would JJ feel if she knew you were gossiping without her?”
Penelope didn’t even look phased. “She’ll be fine when I tell her the juicy bits. You know Jayje.”
“What is there to tell? It’s not like I can tell you all the dirty things he does to me at night.”
Penelope almost swerved the car off the road. She shot Emily an apologetic look when she glared, a hand on her side. “Sorry! How else do you expect me to react to something like that?”
“With calm detachment?” Emily suggested. “You know it’s not true.”
“I don’t know anything anymore,” Penelope shot back, her voice slightly superior. “Now that Hotch comes home to you every night it’s like you’ve dropped off the friend radar.”
Emily rolled her eyes. “Crowded bars aren’t exactly my cup of tea at the moment. And I can’t even wash my own hair so dancing is most definitely out. What am I supposed to do? Turn left up here.”
“Call?” Garcia suggested as she turned onto the street Emily had suggested. “Write? At this point I would accept snail mail too. I know! Visit!”
Emily sighed. “Like Hotch would go with that.”
“You’re off duty, he can’t order you to do anything,” Penelope pointed out. “You’re not even dating the guy and you’re whipped.”
Emily was cut off from replying by her ringing phone. She looked at the caller display, her face morphing into fond annoyance. “How is the sand and sun?”
“You’re not at home.”
He’d called the house first apparently. Emily sighed. “I’m going stir crazy.”
“Where are you?”
“Washington PD called, they’re trying to track down a suspect. I’m close on the guy’s tail, but this talking and running after the guy is leaving me with very little breath.” She ignored Penelope’s completely shocked look.
“You’re snappy.”
Emily took a deep breath. “I know. I’m sorry.” And she was. It just got frustrating that he seemed to be looking over her shoulder at every moment of every day. “I’m going to lunch with Garcia.”
“Did you nap after I left?”
“No,” she admitted. “I couldn’t.”
Hotch’s sigh echoed of frustration. “I wish-“
“I know.” She wished he could help too. “Tell me something interesting.”
“We’ve never needed you more than on this case.”
That was an admission that froze her entire body. “Huh?”
“Even introducing myself as SSA Hotchner is only getting us so far.”
“I knew you only wanted me for my heritage.”
He chuckled. “Everyone knows your mother.”
“They do,” she agreed. “If it’s any consolation I wish I was there.”
“And you call me a workaholic.”
“With a job like ours who needs outside entertainment,” she quipped back. “I’m driving myself batty with boredom.”
“You’ll be back soon enough.”
It was odd to hear her own emotions echoed back to her in someone else’s voice. That cross between excitement at the prospect and a hollow feeling that came with the idea of going home to an empty apartment every night. It made her feel stupid. “Apparently not,” she said on a sigh.
“Try and nap when you get home,” he suggested, trying to move away from such a depressing yet at the same time exciting subject.
She shivered at the concept of his house as her home as she usually did when the subject came up. “I will. We’ll see.”
He sighed. “Take a pill if you have to, Emily. You’re still healing.”
It was frustratingly sweet, the way he cared. “We’ll see. I’m not making any promises.”
“I’ll call you later.” It wasn’t like Hotch could accept anything but her word. He couldn’t force her to take the pill.
“I’ll be fine,” she said rolling her eyes. It was unfortunate that he was many miles away and couldn’t see the affection in the gesture.
“I’ll call you later.”
The warmth that spread through her chest at his insistence made her mind whirl. Living with him was turning out to be a blessing and a curse. “Okay.” Her eyes stayed fixed on her phone as she hung up, fingers absently tracing along the outside.
“I take it that was Boss Man?”
Emily nodded.
Penelope could tell there was a lot on her friend’s mind. As girls in a boy’s club, Penelope, JJ and Emily had formed their own little bond. With how often they worked together, they were often each other’s only confidantes, the only people they knew that could understand what they saw in their cases, what kind of people they dealt with, the high emotion that came with the job. And there were few secrets they kept from each other. As profilers and people who worked closely with profilers, there was little they could keep secret.
“He cares, you know,” Penelope offered, finally pulling into a tiny parking lot behind a quaint café.
Emily sighed. “That’s what worries me.”
“Worries you?”
“Define ‘caring’.”
“You want Oxford’s definition or Garcia’s Context-Friendly version?”
“You’re the one that said it, let’s go with your version.”
Penelope considered the request as they chose a table by the window. “Look at the facts,” she began, knowing Emily was only slightly less rational than Reid. “He was the one who came to me to hunt you down. He was the one who came to visit you every day “ which I am still apologizing for, by the way. He was the one who offered to take you home and picked you up on his lunch break. He’s been the one to watch over you while you recover. Why are you red?”
Emily winced. Her mind had floated back to the hair washing. “Nothing.”
“Nuh uh, Emily Prentiss, there are very few things that make you go that exact shade of red.”
Emily cursed her job, and Penelope’s perceptiveness. “It’s nothing,” she tried again.
“What did Hotch do?”
Emily, if possible, went even redder. “What makes you assume it was him?”
“Other than the fact that you’re a chronic blusher?” Penelope teased. “The way you’re avoiding answering the question.”
Penelope was going to get a kick out of the story and she was sure JJ would too when it got passed on. Then she would be teased mercilessly for it. But weighing the annoyance of teasing against the annoyance of badgering Penelope Garcia style, there was less torture to just confess. “You know I can’t raise my arm above about my shoulders.”
“Uh huh. I had that problem. Drove me crazy.”
Emily laughed. “I now know how you feel. Well, it’s made things a little bit difficult.”
“So… he pulled your ice cream out of the back of the freezer for you?”
Emily knit her brow. “Actually, he rearranges the fridge and freezer for me,” she said in confused memory. “And sets out dishes.”
Penelope’s eyes bugged out. “He what?”
“Tries to help in whatever way he can,” Emily tried to shrug it off. “Last night he helped wash my hair.”
Penelope leaned forward to whisper, “Were you naked?”
Emily looked properly scandalized, though it fell off her face when Penelope started to giggle. “I had my towel thank you.”
“Ooh, a piece of terry cloth between you and the man of your dreams,” Penelope teased. She giggled again at the dreamy look on Emily’s face. “You’re head over heels girl, no looking back.”
The brunette sighed. “And it’s going to be the death of me. He’s my boss, for goodness sakes.”
“But your very hot boss,” Penelope responded. “If it wasn’t for Derek, Hotch would be my next in line.”
“I’m just there while I recover, while I still need help to reach things. After that, I’m headed back to my apartment, and then what?”
“Honey, you can’t rationalize everything,” Penelope pointed out as their waiter approached. Conversation lulled while they ordered drinks, though Emily chatted amicably with the wait staff. She often stopped in for her morning coffee and it seemed like she was quite thoroughly missed.
Penelope picked up her train of thought when the waiter left. “Emotions aren’t rational. You of all people should know that.”
“He’s my boss. He’s just divorced-“
“Forever ago,” Penelope interrupted.
“Look, there’s just way too much at stake.”
“Ah, but think of the reward,” Penelope replied, smiling as the waiter put her drink down in front of her.
“And if it fails? I appreciate the encouragement but…”
Penelope didn’t need to hear the end of the sentence and huffed. “Em, you’re the closest one, okay? The one that has the best chance of getting her guy.”
Emily sighed. This was not a conversation she really wanted to have at the moment. She was vulnerable enough as it is, physically and emotionally. She didn’t want to add anything else to her plate that could rattle her boat. And actually entertaining the thought of being with Hotch would do just that. If she let herself believe she was in love with Hotch, that the routines they had now could be normal every-day things, she would lose her perspective. Emily couldn’t afford to lose her perspective.
Penelope watched the play of emotions across her friend’s face. Encouragement was her specialty, even if she was being a little hypocritical by this point. After all, she and Derek spent tones of time together. But if there was one thing she wanted to see more than her own happiness, it was her friends’. “Emily-“
“Please, Pen? Can we not do this?”
As often as she did push, Penelope knew when to back off. “You have to come and visit us,” she said, without any sort of seque. “We miss you.”
Emily took the subject and smiled sadly. “I miss you guys too. I’ll try and convince Hotch to let me come in for an afternoon this week or something. I don’t think it’s physically possible to stress myself out in the office.”
As they carried on the conversation, Penelope’s mind was already working, trying to find a way to manipulate Emily’s new revelations to the eventual benefit of both her boss and her friend. Penelope knew Emily was good for Hotch and Hotch would be good for Emily. So it was down to the right amount of influence and, unfortunately, time.
But the right amount of influence could come first.