If there was anyone in the world Penelope Garcia knew better than she knew herself, it was Derek Morgan. JJ came a close second, but there was no one in the world she found easier to read than Derek. She’d asked herself why once, and given herself a headache, but ended up assuming it was because he wanted her to know. And that worked just fine for her.
It did mean that when they found a particularly rough case, she was the first one to be able to tell how it was affecting him. This time, however, she didn’t need him to tell her and didn’t even need him to say hello for her to know it was a bad case. She’d seen the file, she’d been researching the lives of each of the victims, she knew before she even made first contact with the team that it was going to hit them all hard.
And she had to admit, part of her was very glad she was safely sequestered in her bunker in Quantico.
The other part of her, however, was screaming the opposite. She wanted to be there for Derek, more so since she’d had that afternoon with his mother and sisters. She’d learned a lot about him from Fran and it had only made her love him more. But, there was no reason for her to go with them. Even Penelope, even I she didn’t exactly like the idea, knew she was safer as far away from the guy as possible.
She hit the speed dial for his cell phone, her fingers tapping absently on the desk in front of her.
“Hey Mama.”
‘Mama’ was never a good sign. “Hey there, Hot Stuff.”
“You got something for us?”
Clue number two: there was no teasing on his end. “At a cost.” She knew he’d give her pretty much anything.
“What?”
“When we’re done with the professional we talk about the personal.”
There was silence on his end and she had a feeling he was doing mental calculations to figure out if there was a time he could get away from the team to talk to her. “I don’t know when…”
She could almost see him run a hand over his head as he sighed.
“This is a bad one.”
“I know, Gorgeous. So, I’ve been crossing the names of our three known vics and then Zoe Duyen, our missing girl, and there’s nothing all four of them have in common. Reese Joshlynn and Michelle Pegeen had both been in to voluntarily see the department shrink. Ms. Duyen, Ms. Joshlynn and Mrs Raghnall all received the same recognition for their work in the community with different organizations.”
“Any organizations in common?”
“Nope, sorry my chocolate Adonis. YMCA, GLBTQ and a shelter for teens.”
“Thanks, I’ll relay that to Hotch.”
When he paused, she knew there was something bothering him.
“Penelope?”
“Yes?”
“I’m glad you’re not here.”
In any other situation she was sure she’d be offended by his words. However, she knew what he meant. It made her stomach do flips with the effect of his concern. “Me too.”
Part of the natural habits of the BAU was that they lived out of their bags and only brought things that could be quickly washed in a sink. Thus, it never took them long to get settled in their rooms, but Emily and JJ enjoyed the opportunity to leave things in the bathroom. The first thing JJ had done upon entering the room was to unlock and open the door that joined their room to Morgan and Spencer’s.
She was glad she and Spencer had taken the opportunity to fix things between them. With the understandable way Hotch had assigned partners, she was sure things would be a little bit awkward if they hadn’t solved their issue.
“JJ, do you think the partner thing is a good idea?”
The blond hadn’t exactly been expecting a question like that and looked over at her roommate in surprise. “What?”
Emily sighed. “I just…. Is it a good idea that we’re paired in couples?”
“You noticed that too.”
“It’s kind of hard to miss,” Emily replied with a rueful smile. “I’m just… Will we be able to do our jobs?”
“Of course we will,” JJ reassured. “They guys know we’re good agents and they know we can take care of ourselves.”
“Then why are we paired off? Why can’t you and I stay behind in the precinct?”
“I don’t think they’d be worried about us staying in a building with a bunch of armed police officers,” JJ pointed out logically.
Emily rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“I think for the moment you’re overreacting,” JJ said honestly. “They want us to be safe and honestly, I don’t think there’s too many people I’d trust with my life more than I would Spencer Reid.”
But JJ knew there was more to the subject than that. Emily rarely gave any insight to her personal feelings on a case unless she was angry or frustrated with a decision and it seemed obvious to the blond that there was something wrong. Something wasn’t sitting right with the brunette agent. “Em, what’s up?”
“I’m just not sure being directly paired with people we’re attracted to and people we care deeply about is really the right way to go.”
“You’re afraid Hotch is going to smother you?”
Emily sighed. It sounded terrible when put like that. “I’m afraid he’s going to get too protective for me to do my job.”
JJ didn’t have an argument for that. She knew she and Spencer were on the same page. “We have to try, don’t we? I mean, is there anyone else you’d really like to have your back?”
That was definitely not an easy question to answer. She trusted the whole team period, end of discussion, but that didn’t mean that there was a certain amount of comfort that came with Aaron specifically being the one watching her back. Nevertheless, she’d heard many-a-story of agents that had been injured or unsubs that had gotten away because their feelings had clouded their professional judgement.
“Look, Em, I think you’re looking at this the wrong way. I think that this will be a benefit to all of us. Plus, if there’s a problem we can always mix things up,” JJ said, trying to be the rational mind. She knew that Emily had no reason to react or overreact just yet. JJ was the type to, in some sense, play things by ear, especially while on cases. No one ever knew how long they’d be gone or anything like that. She’d learned that going with the flow was the only way she was going to get anything done.
“I…” Emily began, stopping and twisting her fingers in her lap. “I don’t want this to ruin anything.”
“We just started the case. Until we know that the guy is going after law enforcement in general versus going after Tucson law enforcement we can see if this works.”
Emily nodded on a sigh. She sent JJ a smile. “I’m going to head down to get something to eat.”
“I’ll be down in a minute,” JJ agreed. She waited until Emily closed the door before dropping on the bed.
She had her own reservations about Hotch’s choice of pairing, Her feelings for Spencer were strong, had grown stronger as they helped each other deal with all sorts of issues, fears, anxieties… She knew that either of them would put themselves on the line for the other in an instant, no questions asked. But she and Spence weren’t in the same situation as Emily and Aaron was.
Most of the time, Spence didn’t want to step in front of an unsub for fear of being injured. It wasn’t exactly his thing. Hotch and Emily, on the other hand, put themselves in danger all the time and they didn’t really think twice. On this case, however, there was so much more underlying what they were doing, so much more to handle and deal with. Hotch was terribly protective of Emily and there was the distinct possibility that his protectiveness could affect their case or, more specifically, Emily.
JJ knew Emily valued her independence. She always have and it was something JJ respected of her colleague. Somehow, Emily and Hotch had managed to find some sort of balance between their lives. Up to this point, they hadn’t had any issues that were visible on cases or in the office. They rarely even shared a room while on cases, simply because of propriety and because it gave them time to reorient themselves on cases. That didn’t mean that there were times they skipped out on team dinners to catch one together.
This one, however, was one that had been eating at them before they’d even stepped on the plane and JJ hadn’t spent so much time with profilers and not picked something up on watching behaviour. None of them wanted anyone else to go missing, get hurt or anything like that. Instead, they wanted this to go off without a hitch. But that hitch had already been thrown in. JJ could only vaguely understand Emily’s worry.
But there was nothing anyone could do about it, really. They protected their own, no matter the cost. She was just worried that the cost this time could become a little too high.
Emily looked down as she knocked on Aaron’s door. Her talk with JJ had done nothing to assuage her worries. Going into a case with emotions running high was never healthy and Emily preferred to do it as little as possible. It was why she and Aaron tried to solve everything before they left the house or before they had to do anything that would require their full concentration.
She looked up as he opened the door and knew that his feelings were doing the same roller coaster ride hers were. Over their time together he became less of a closed book than he’d been almost a year prior. He let her in without a word. She took four steps inside and turned to face him, her arms crossed over her chest.
“I don’t like this,” she said softly, trying to focus on rational thoughts.
“This?”
She sighed. “The case, the partner assignments…I think we’re playing with fire.”
Aaron stepped closer to her, reaching out to brush a hand down her upper arm. “You think I’m going to step on you?”
“No… Yes… Maybe,” Emily answered uncertainly. “I think that there’s too much potential of our relationship getting in the way of our work.”
It was a valid concern. It was also a surprising insight into what she was feeling. “We’ve done it before.”
“This null and voids the whole point of keeping it out of the office.”
He chuckled. “It had to end sometime.”
She allowed him to step closer, shrinking the distance between them to a few inches. “We can’t let this…”
“I know.” When she let out a deep sigh and leaned slightly towards him, Aaron knew she was feeling insecure and he knew there was something potentially deep bothering her. When she looked up at him, Aaron knew Emily was about to say something about their relationship.
“I can’t let this tear us apart,” she whispered something.
He cupped her cheek in his hand. “I won’t let it.”
Even when he kissed her, she didn’t quite believe him.