JJ had to force herself to stay calm. Freaking out, like she wanted to, wasn’t going to help Penelope at all. The other woman looked so fragile, so childish, so afraid that JJ knew any show of temper would probably be more of a hindrance than a help. “I’m sorry?”
“I missed my period,” Penelope repeated softly. “I’ve been regular since I was twelve.”
“Stress can sometimes do it,” Emily said slowly, her tone speaking to her lack of confidence in that particular story.
Penelope sighed. She’d been denying this for the past few weeks or so, since she’d missed her monthly friend. “I’ve been tired recently. I always feel like I have to sleep.”
“Any nausea?” Emily asked softly, vividly remembering Charlotte’s first few months of pregnancy. Her sister-in-law had been cursed with endless morning sickness though the first three months of her pregnancy.
Penelope shook her head. “It’s why I’m not so sure. I do have to pee all the time though.”
JJ was frozen in shock. Derek was the one person she expected to be the most careful out of all of them, especially with their Penelope. “Wow.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Penelope said, trying to will the tears out of her eyes.
Emily moved to crouch down beside her, kissing her forehead matronly. “We’ll have to get a test,” she said softly. “Figure out if you’re right.”
“And if I am?”
Emily smile reassuringly. She’d kill Derek later, but for now, compartmentalizing was key to keeping Penelope away from despair and hysteria. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. There’s no use panicking without a for sure answer.”
“Where am I going to…”
“I’ll go,” Emily offered. “This weekend was for you so you stay and try and relax. I’ll pop out to a drug store or something.”
Penelope looked wary and panicked.
“We’ll be with you every step of the way, whether you’re pregnant or not,” Emily told Penelope softly but with strong conviction.
Penelope looked to JJ, to her sister, to the woman who had shot a man for her. “Jayje?”
“Of course.” JJ said, squeezing her friend’s hand. “Always. Anything.”
Penelope sighed as Emily rose. That had gone a lot better than she’d originally anticipated.
But the next step was going to be even harder.
Penelope was pacing. The pregnancy test Emily had bought was in her hand and she was tapping it against her other palm in an erratic rhythm. Who’d have thought that a little stick could terrify her so completely? But it wasn’t the little stick that was making her heart beat just that little bit faster. It was the implications the stick brought. What if she was pregnant? What if she was carrying Derek Morgan’s baby?
The thought both terrified her and thrilled her. Derek meant more than the world to her and carrying his child was a dream she rarely allowed herself to think about. It was something that would tie them together forever. Every once in a while, her subconscious would dream it up for her, a little girl with light brown skin and dark hair running away from her father, a large grin on his face. Or sometimes it was a little boy playing ball in the park while she watched contentedly.
But she’d never anticipated the reality. They weren’t even in a relationship. This child was, for all intents and purposes, an accident and she wasn’t sure she was really prepared for motherhood, especially motherhood with a ladies man like Derek. She had no doubt he’d want to be involved in the child’s life. He was way too close with his own family, all too aware of what it was like to grow up without a father to just leave his own progeny without one. That, in itself, was a terrifying eventuality.
And that didn’t even start on their jobs. Sure, hers was definitely less violent than Derek’s and she never really had to put herself into the direct line of fire, but they both worked in one of the toughest departments of the FBI. She had no doubt that a child could actually be good for her, like it had been for Hotch, but that didn’t prepare her.
Oh yeah, and there was her own haywire emotions. She’d given into temptation one night at home and researched pregnancy’s effects. She knew hormones made her emotional, irritable and it the site’s reference to exhaustion and fatigue had been what originally tipped her off to the possibility in the first place.
A knock interrupted her rhythmic pacing.
“Pen?”
It was JJ, and most likely Emily. She hadn’t wanted to do the test without the support of her friends. She wasn’t sure she could make it through the process alone. It just wasn’t really her style. So she crossed to the door and opened it, allowing both of her friends entrance.
Though they were staying together, the passes Emily had gotten from Chris had given them access to a suite, so Penelope had her own bedroom. She turned when she hit the center of the room, her eyes cloudy. JJ was over to her in a second, wrapping her arms about the other woman, trying to give her the courage she was going to need.
“You can do this,” JJ whispered.
“I don’t know if I want to,” Penelope responded just as quietly.
“Wouldn’t you rather know?” JJ asked, leading Penelope to the bed and sitting beside her. “Wouldn’t it make your life easier knowing, either way?”
“What if I am pregnant?” Penelope asked, squeezing the word out, her eyes rising to Emily’s. She needed Emily’s compartmentalized rationalism rather than JJ’s encouragement.
“Then you have a decision to make,” Emily responded honestly. “You either have to talk to Derek, or…” She left the other option hanging. While she admired the ability of a woman to make that choice, it was one she preferred not to think about. She had too much pride in life after living with so much death. But Emily needed Penelope to know that she had that option.
“I couldn’t,” Penelope said immediately. “I couldn’t… I’d keep it.” Then with a deep breath, she tore open the package and headed to the bathroom.
Emily and JJ looked at each other as the door closed, Emily allowing the other woman to see each and every expression and emotion.
“What are we going to do?” JJ asked quietly.
“Stand by her, I guess,” Emily answered. “I’m going to kill him.”
“Get in line,” JJ responded. “How could he do this? Just leave her behind?”
Emily had a few theories, but none of them came anywhere close to justifying Derek’s actions. “I have no idea. It’s Penelope.”
“Even Fran says he’s in love with her,” JJ continued, working herself into a fuming anger. “What was going through his head? Why did he…?”
“He probably needed the connection too,” Emily pointed out, trying to be rational through her own frustration and irritation. “Doesn’t excuse him, but still.”
Penelope came out of the bathroom then, glancing at the clock. “5 minutes.” She glanced at Emily. “Have you talked to Boss-Man?”
Emily smiled, allowing Penelope the distraction. “I called last night. He’s got Jack for the weekend.”
“How is Superboy?” Penelope asked, a little bit of her old self shining through. Jack simply had that effect on people.
“He’s a Daddy’s boy,” Emily said with a sigh. “I did get to talk to him.”
“He adores you,” JJ gushed.
Emily rolled her eyes. “He wanted me to tell him a story, over the phone.”
“You tell him stories?” Penelope asked.
“Since the time I stayed with Aaron,” Emily answered with a shy smile. “We both had nightmares and my dad used to tell me stories when I had them. Prince Jack saved the day.”
“Prince Jack?” JJ chuckled. “How unoriginal.”
“Oh please, a Daddy’s boy like Jack?” Penelope contradicted.
Emily smiled, the wide smile of someone who was perfectly happy with their life at the moment. “He loves saving the world,” she agreed. “From the flu monster, from the man abducting mommies… With the number of them I’ve told I should go into writing.”
JJ mock gasped. “And give up the BAU? Who would want to give up death, blood and hell?”
Even Penelope laughed. They knew Emily well enough to know she’d never give up the BAU without excellent reason and where Aaron Hotchner fit that category, writing children’s books did not. Penelope glanced at the clock. 2 more minutes.
“Children’s books just wouldn’t be that interesting,” Emily agreed when the laughter had died down.
Penelope was tapping a rhythm on her knee, not one in particular, just trying to get rid of some of the nervous energy. She looked up when Emily sat beside her. “You guys are good?”
Emily smiled softly. “We are. Don’t you worry about us. I think between us we can take care of ourselves.”
“I’ve noticed you don’t hide anything. On cases I mean,” JJ said, a slight note of curiosity slipping into her voice.
“No point,” Emily replied with a shrug. “Why try and hide something everyone already knows? And it helps that we haven’t had a blow up on a case since Tuscon. I wanted to kill him.”
“Spence wanted to throttle me,” JJ remembered with a fond smile. “For agreeing to get up there.”
“What else were you going to do?” Penelope questioned in disbelief. “It’s your job.”
“I know,” JJ answered. “We always have to do things on the job that put us in danger.”
“Let’s not remind me. I much preferred the indignant anger that came from that case,” Emily interjected. “Thinking that I would have done the same in Aaron’s situation made my anger less fun.”
“And the outcome?” JJ asked.
Emily smile turned sly. “What can I say?”
They all giggled.
Penelope glanced at the clock and froze. 5 minutes had passed.
JJ noticed and turned serious again. “You can do this.”
“No I can’t,” Penelope contradicted. “You go look. Please?”
“You have to do this,” JJ argued with a shake of her head. “You’re stronger than this.”
“We’ll still be here when you get back. We’ll be here whatever happens,” Emily reminded her quietly. “Friends always stick together.”
“Family,” Penelope whispered.
JJ reached over and hugged her. “Family,” she agreed. “Go look.”
Penelope got up slowly, felt like she was moving in slow motion as she walked the six feet to the bathroom. There, on the counter, right where she left it, was the little stick, standing out in stark contrast to the counter, in Penelope’s opinion. She approached it slowly, the bomb that could blow up her entire concept of life. With shaking hands she reached out to grasp it and looked down at it double checking that she’d read it right. Then she moved back to the door, shock on her face.
“I’m pregnant.”