Emily’s life had become somewhat of a routine. She didn’t mind it. Routine had driven her life for years before the BAU so it almost came as a comfort to her. She watched over Penelope by day and spent the large majority of her evenings with Aaron. Even though they spent hours together at work, it never seemed like they could get enough of each other. He’d even gone with her to see her newborn nephew a few times.
She’d been very careful throughout her routine to keep her behaviour completely normal. No one thought twice of her coddling towards a team member. It was her niche and one she fit like a glove. No one questioned her patience when Penelope was suddenly away from the phone.
“Even computer geniuses need to use the bathroom,” she’d said with an almost cheerful smile, even as she was running ragged from a case.
When she looked at her life, she had to admit, she was perfectly comfortable with where she stood. She and Aaron were going strong and it always seemed like there was quite simply never enough time in the day. He’d mentioned to her in passing that Haley had discovered their relationship through an unsuspecting Jack, but Emily not only harboured no resentment for the woman but had even been responsible for dropping Jack off a few times on her way home. She didn’t mind it, nor did she fault Haley for her lack of understanding. It wasn’t her fault that Aaron was an extremely complex man, nor was it her fault she wasn’t a profiler trained in understanding that kind of behaviour.
Haley had been genuinely happy that Aaron had found someone else who understood his dedication to the job and could handle him like she hadn’t been able to. It was anger that had made Haley leave, but it was an innate realization that she couldn’t make Aaron the perfect husband that had her filing for the divorce. She’d known it was, in the end, for the best.
What bothered Emily the most, however, was the lack of anything between Penelope and Derek. After pointing out the obvious to her surrogate brother, he’d taken a month to take the preliminary steps towards repairing the friendship he’d so thoroughly destroyed. Of course, Emily knew it wasn’t all his fault, but a hormonally teeter-totter like pregnant Penelope Garcia was someone Emily had learned quickly not to mess with. Still, it bothered her that Penelope had yet to tell Derek about the baby. It was becoming more and more obvious, even though the woman buried herself in her lair for the large majority of the working hours.
If the team had noticed, they’d just chalked it up to her simply being Penelope. Aaron has asked her about it once, but Emily had kept tight lipped, throwing off an excuse about working on something new for the Bureau. She hated lying to Aaron, but he hadn’t called her on it. Either she’d been successful in her lie, or he respected the loyalty she had towards her friend. She still wasn’t sure which one it was.
Four months after her conversation with Derek, Emily tip-toed down the stairs from the requisite three bedtime stories to find Aaron standing stock still in the middle of the living room, a light blue book in his hands. Her heart started to pound, so much so that she forgot the squeak on the last step, alerting him to her presence.
He turned the book to face her, his face unreadable, but she already knew what it was. She’d hidden it there earlier in the week when things had gotten a little hectic and forgotten to take it home with her. She’d been very careful to hide any and all ‘research’ she’d been doing to help Penelope along.
“Something you need to tell me?”
His voice was almost cold, detached, and it sent serious shivers down her spine. “I’m not pregnant.”
“The book says something different.”
She surreptitiously pinched the back of her thigh for something to concentrate on other than the icy temperature the room suddenly fell to. They’d talked about children, albeit briefly, and agree that should childbirth be an option, it wouldn’t be until they’d figure out what to do at the Bureau. “I’m not pregnant,” she repeated, forcing her voice to stay strong. “One of my friends is and the father… he doesn’t know.”
“Who?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Aaron’s eyes went back to the book. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, but with the conversations they had he wouldn’t put it past her to lie until she could be sure, or find a better way to tell him… or something. He needed a name. “It does to me.”
“This isn’t about you.”
Her voice hadn’t been harsh, just matter-of-fact. “Damnit, Emily.”
“Why are you so hell bent on getting an answer?” she replied, coming to stand by the edge of the couch. “You know it’s not me.”
“I need to know.”
“You need to be sure,” she accused.
Aaron took in her defensive posture, the way her arms were crossed over her chest. There was nothing to say she wasn’t telling him the truth, but now his hackles were up and he had a pretty good idea of who it could be. “Garcia.”
“What about her?”
He’d already caught the flicker in her dark eyes. “Garcia’s pregnant.”
“Why do you say that?”
He set the book down, making a conscious effort to release some of the tension in his muscles. He knew a few things had to happen now, knew that she was going to be defensive and worried about the possibility should it ever come up again. “The book, for one,” he held up the offending object.
Emily stayed where she was.
“Three months ago she actually went home to sleep at night, left at a decent time.”
Emily had to give him that. She’d often sent the blond tech home before she left to ensure that she actually did. Pen’s first trimester had been filled with fatigue and morning sickness. “She’s been fine for the last three months.”
“Typical,” Aaron replied, remembering Haley’s energetic second trimester. That was about when she dragged him shopping as soon as he got home from the office. “She doesn’t eat chocolate.”
Emily smiled at that. She hadn’t known Aaron had paid that much attention to the habits of the team. Her habits he knew almost as well as his own, but the others he often counted just that little bit out of his necessary knowledge realm. “It still makes her sick.”
“Who’s baby?”
She dropped down on the couch with a sigh, her arms still folded. There was no use in hiding it now. “I’m not allowed to say.”
Most of the time, he respected her privacy and the things she didn’t want to share about the other team members, but as the Agent In Charge, he felt like this was something he should know. “Em…”
“I promised her I wouldn’t say anything,” she responded, standing strong. “I can’t betray that.”
Technically, she’d already betrayed the woman’s pregnancy secret, but really, it was only going to be a matter of time before Aaron found out. She’d have to notify him of her maternity leave eventually. “When?”
“After Tuscon. After you and Jayje.”
“We all took that case a little hard,” he remembered candidly, absently reaching out to brush his fingers up her calf. How she could wear shorts in the middle of winter baffled him, but she’d claimed his house was too warm for pants. It did give him access to her smooth skin, so he really shouldn’t be throwing stones.
“She denied it for about a month,” Emily revealed. “Then JJ and I dragged her on a girls weekend-“
“To the spa. I remember that.” He’d spent the weekend with Jack. Saturday in the park and Sunday at the Smithsonian’s Museum of Natural History.
“She took the test in the hotel room. JJ took her to the doctor when we got back.” She stretched out her legs, feet resting in his lap allowing him uninterrupted access to the toned muscles in her calves and thighs.
“That’s why you’re calling your sister-in-law all the time.”
Emily nodded. “Pen would, but she doesn’t want to get caught.”
“Why didn’t she tell me?”
His voice sounded almost pained now. “It’s a big deal for her,” she pointed out, her head lolling back against the couch as his fingers continued to softly trail up and down her legs. “Unplanned things don’t settle well with her.”
Changes didn’t settle well with most of the team. “How is she?”
“Coping,” Emily responded. “But you know Pen, she never likes letting people see her weak or struggling.”
“So you and JJ stepped in.”
“Of course we did,” she replied breezily.
“Is she planning on telling the father?” He was digging a little but Penelope was family and he worried about her.
“Hmm, I’m not relaxed enough to spill any of those beans, but good try.” Her eyes were closed. She paused a beat. “I’m sorry she didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I understand.”
Her eyes popped open, dark and alluring as he’d almost always found them. “And I’m sorry for scaring you with the baby book. Charlotte’s great, but I feel bad interrupting all the time.”
Aaron yanked her legs, pulling her towards his body. “Has it been an easy pregnancy?”
She really wasn’t sure she wanted to continue this particular topic of discussion. Sometimes it was hard enough to see Penelope’s growing stomach and remembering Emily herself was older than her blond friend. “She’s been upset about the chocolate but we’ve been lucky on the cravings front.” She shifted so her head rested against his shoulder, his arm around her.
He automatically started running his fingers through the soft, dark strands. Something was off with her. Something about the conversation was pushing the wrong buttons. “And?”
She looked up. “What? It’s been easy for her.”
There was a shadow in her eyes he didn’t like. “Talk to me.”
“I’m fine,” she insisted. “It’s nothing.
“Emily,” he cajoled, wrapping his arms around her completely.
“It’s not a big deal,” she insisted again. “Really.”
The fact that she was pushing him not to talk about it told him the opposite. “It is a big deal.”
“We’ve already talked about it.” She was up and headed for the kitchen before he knew it. She needed to keep her hands busy.
Aaron leaned against the doorframe when he followed her path, watching her pull out the kettle. She’d been leaning towards comfort foods a little bit more often as of late and though it had yet to show in her body “ he doubted it ever would; Emily was an active woman “ but he’d noticed. “You think you’re running out of time.”
She wished she hadn’t frozen in the split second reaching for the knife to cut her apple, but knew he’d seen it. He was watching her too closely to miss it. She cursed herself when she felt irrational tears punch at her eyes.
He pushed off the doorframe, coming up behind her and removing the sharp knife from her hand. He turned her into his body, hugging her close, felt her shaking as she held back the tears.
If Aaron was honest with himself, he wanted Emily to get the chance to be a mother. He watched her hover over the team so often that it seemed a true shame to let mothering instincts like she obviously had go to waste. They seemed to come naturally to her. Their discussion about waiting had been a mutual decision on both sides to wait until they figured out what to do at work, but the primal, primitive part of him wanted, needed, to see her swollen with his child.
“I know we agreed that the Bureau came first, and I still agree with that, I do,” she said from the general vicinity of his neck. “I’m probably overreacting a bit.”
His hands stroked up and down her back. “What if I left the unit?”
“I’d kill you,” she responded without thinking. “And then Derek would kill you, and then JJ would kill you…”
“I get the point,” Aaron interrupted with a chuckle. “We’re between a rock and a hard place.”
“I’ll leave,” Emily contradicted, as if it was the easiest choice in the world to make.
“No.”
“You’re making this difficult.”
“You love it too much.”
“I want to be a mother more.”
Aaron’s phone rang before the argument could continue and he reached for it on the counter where he’d left it charging. “Hotchner.”
Emily waited out his phone call to the thumping rhythm of his heart under her ear.
“Yes ma’am. I’ll gather the team in the morning.” He set the phone down with a sigh.
“We have a case.” It was a statement.
“As of tomorrow morning,” he reminded her. “Strauss is coming.”
“Ah, BAU evaluation. I heard C Team talking about it, debating which one of them would get to work with the great Agent Hotchner.”
He pinched her side.
She squealed. “I’m repeating what I heard!”
“And embellishing,” he accused.
“I am not,” she replied. Then she fell silent. “What if I transferred within the unit?”
“You’d be bored.”
Emily tileted her head back to glare at his chin. “Objectively, Aaron, not like a guy who wants to keep his woman close.”
“I am being objective,” he argued. “It would be boring for you to work with someone different. None of us deal well with change.”
“Chances are I’d be leading the team.”
Aaron blew out a breath. “It’s a good opportunity,” he allowed. “You could lead your own team.”
That was more of a complement than he probably realized. “Thank you,” she said.
“And it would be a promotion.” He was surprised when her response was a dejected sigh. “What?”
“I couldn’t be a mother. Not like I want to, anyway.”
He hadn’t thought about that. “We’re stuck.” He let her go as the kettle whistled.
Emily kept her eyes on her hands as she went about making the hot chocolate, apple forgotten. Comfort beverage at its finest. “Heck of a thing to have on our minds with Strauss on the next case with us,” she murmured almost absently. She turned, holding the mug between her hands. “What do you think?”
“Strauss is our priority.”
Emily nodded her agreement, wrinkling her nose. “We’ll have to be on our absolute best behaviour.”
His eyes darkened at her unintended inference. Aaron swiftly removed her mug from her hand, ignoring her little mewl and set it on the counter far behind her. He boxed her between his arms, his body and the counter in the process. “Then we’d better get the bad behaviour out of our systems now.”
Her breath caught in her throat as he nuzzled at her neck and her lower body arched into him instinctively. “Aaron.”
“Mmm…”
“Jack,” she managed, as his tongue came out to play and his fingertips slipped under her t-shirt and sweatshirt to play along the waistband of her shorts.
“Dead to the world,” he assured her, trapping her lower body between his and the cupboards. “He sleeps best after story time.”
She groaned as his mouth skated up her neck and along her jaw, hovering just above her mouth. “God, you’re good,” she breathed, sweeping in to kiss him.
“We’ll see about that,” he said, hoisting her up against the counter and leaning in to ravage her mouth again.
Emily doubted she’d question him again.