Anxious was nowhere close to describing what Emily was feeling. Aaron had been called into Strauss’ office almost an hour before hand and she was trying not to focus on it. It was difficult, especially when she felt there was so much at stake. Actually, it was more than that. She hadn’t taken a deep breath in the hour since he’d been called in.
There were so many things Emily felt they could be called on. They’d been so incredibly careful with the relationships that were sprouting up in the team and she knew she’d tried to be even more careful when checking on Penelope, but they weren’t perfect. And that was only on a personal level. That didn’t touch on the uncharacteristic display of volatile emotion Aaron had portrayed.
And her own reaction to that. She was pretty sure Strauss had been watching her return, speak quickly to Derek and head over to Aaron, not to mention knowing that she’d been there when Derek had called to tell her Aaron had almost exploded. For Emily, it was a usual thing and she almost blamed herself for not keeping a tighter reign on her observations. Still, she knew she wasn’t a babysitter and knew that as much as she didn’t mind keeping Aaron on track, it wasn’t necessarily her job either.
The fact that she knew many of them would have done the same thing in Aaron’s position meant a lot too. Penelope had almost burst into tears when the news had reached her that another child had been killed not to mention her own primal reaction to the case. It was easy to see why someone would react violently to the death of a child when there were kids as fantastic as Jack wandering around.
She’d given up the pretence of trying to do work and moved herself into Aaron’s office almost fifteen minutes prior. There was no one else in the office so it didn’t matter much anyway, but she needed the comfort of his office. It wasn’t really doing it’s job though. Her heart was still beating a little bit faster than usual and there was a distinct lump in her throat as she waited.
JJ and Reid had gone home long ago at Emily’s insistence and she knew Derek and Penelope were having an all-important conversation. She was on her own with her thoughts, a dangerous combination. Especially when her thoughts were as pessimistic as they happened to be.
After all, it was going to be necessary for one of them to have a contingency plan, that was for sure. In fact, she’d already double checked and updated her resume so as to be prepared for the potential application process she’d have to go through. She wouldn’t let Aaron leave the BAU, no matter how well or how precisely he argued. She could probably ambush him too if he hadn’t thought about the ramifications of his discussion.
She was curled up in the corner of his comfortable leather couch when he returned, so he didn’t register her presence immediately. She liked that, however. It gave her a moment to try and read what had happened and react accordingly. She hadn’t expected shock and it made her blood start pumping faster in her veins.
“What did she tell you?”
The only evidence that she’d surprised him was the speed with which his head snapped up. “I thought you’d gone home.”
She snorted in disbelief. “Yeah right. What happened?”
“I’m… I’m not sure.”
Emily raised an eyebrow, trying to keep herself calm. “You’re not sure?”
“She…”
Emily sighed as he trailed off yet again, pushing herself up. “You’re killing me. Who’s leaving?”
“No one,” he said, his voice betraying his continued shock.
“What?”
“No one’s leaving. She’s not splitting up the team.”
“She’s not,” Emily repeated. “Why?”
“She was impressed with our teamwork.”
“She hates you.”
“I don’t think that matters.”
“I don’t understand.”
Aaron shook his head. “Neither do I,” he answered honestly.
“So then who was fired?”
“No one.”
“No one was fired and no one’s leaving.”
“Right.”
That put some of her at ease. “Did she say anything about two days ago?”
Aaron knew what she was referring to and blew out a breath. “I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s fine,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Are you “ gosh this is going to sound so junior school “ are you in trouble?”
“With the principal?” he teased, the outcome of his meeting starting to sink in an excite him. There was still a part he had yet to tell her, arguably the best news of the whole thing.
“I told you it would sound junior school.”
“I got a slap on the wrist,” he allowed. “In the long run anyway.”
“Aaron, spit it out.”
“She’s not going to address fraternization so long as it doesn’t come into the office.”
Emily had to sit down again. Her pessimism had been useless and very much in vain. “She what?”
There had been a lot of reactions Emily had gone through when she thought about the different things within the team, but none of them had even considered her accepting that fraternization was happening without punishing one, if not both of them, for it. That didn’t make sense to her at all.
“There is a catch.”
Emily started breathing again. “I figured as much.”
He moved to sit beside her. He didn’t want to hold her back. If she had ambitions… well, he didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t strive for them. “Neither of us will be moving within the FBI.”
“None of us like change.”
“Emily, think about it.”
“I have. I had to,” she groused. “I didn’t have much else to do while I was waiting for you to get out of Strauss’ office. I certainly wasn’t going home.”
“There will be no ascension in the FBI. You’ll work under me for the rest of our days,” Aaron said.
Emily laughed slightly. “I understand, Aaron. I don’t mind.”
“You don’t mind?”
Emily shrugged. “I like my job. In fact, I love my job, and I love the people I get to deal with every day. The team wouldn’t be the team if one of us left.”
“I’m not talking in five or ten years, Emily. Never.”
She leaned over, kissing his cheek. “Never say never.”
“You’re optimistic.”
“I’m happy,” she said with a brilliant smile. “We get to keep our jobs and each other.”
“At the cost of our future.”
She arched an eyebrow. “I can apply for another job.”
“No.” It was a reflexive action.
“Look,” she said, taking his hand. “You already told me that it would be a bad idea for me to leave the unit. Strauss has given us the opportunity to continue our relationship, heck, almost to broadcast it, so long as our issues and our feelings stay at the plane door. It’s nothing different from what we’ve been doing now.”
He hadn’t thought about it that way. He’d gotten so focused on stopping her career growth that he hadn’t given thought to the benefits.
“Plus, now that we know what the Bureau’s going to do, we can talk about the future with a much better idea of what we’re dealing with. We know the Bureau won’t be a problem so long as we don’t make it a problem.”
When she put it like that, it sounded like a rather appealing future, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was about to hold her back. “Emily…”
“Nuh uh,” she contradicted. “No way. You don’t get to feel guilty. This is my decision as much as it is yours. I love the team, my family, and I love you. I can give up my career future for that without regrets if I get to keep both.”
“It almost seems too easy,” Aaron argued.
“Hey,” she said, placing her hands on either side of his face. “Let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth, huh?”
“You’re really happy about this,” he said, allowing his surprise through. The thought that she could truly be happy without moving in the FBI, an ambition she’d held since beginning in the unit, meant a lot. He could feel the warmth washing over his brain, felt words he could form lodge in his throat.
“I am,” she promised. “Really happy.”
He kissed her, revelling in his new ability to technically do it whenever he wanted. The itch in his head got stronger, as if there was some sort of question clamouring to get loose. “I’m glad.”
She arched an eyebrow as she sat back a bit. “And you?”
“If you’re happy, I’m happy,” he told her, the straight truth.
“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to measure your own happiness on that of someone else’s,” she said, pursing her lips. “But I’ll take it.”
Aaron chuckled. “I thought so.”