Spencer knew something was off. Something had been off for six months. He’d barely seen JJ and though she hadn’t said a word to him, he wasn’t as blind as they sometimes thought he was. He saw the changes in Pen’s body and she was probably one of his best friends. He’d made the connection quickly. Pen was pregnant and JJ had thrown herself into it. She’d pulled away from him so completely he wasn’t exactly sure what they were doing dancing in a crowd full of people.
He knew her heart wasn’t in them anymore, had known for a while, but he was waiting for her to come to terms with it and deal with it. It was the downside of being a profiler and the best in his field. It also came with the belief that he knew JJ rather well. He didn’t want to let her go, but he knew that if her heart wasn’t in it, it wasn’t worth it to either of them. She could find someone who was more her style, someone social, handsome, someone who would shower her with everything and anything she wanted. He saddled her with nightmares and a social complex.
“Jenn?”
She pulled away, leaving his shoulder cold where her head had rested. “Yeah?”
He took a deep breath, putting a little more space between them and looking down at their feet for a split second. “I think we need to talk.”
JJ tensed. She wasn’t sure she wanted to have this conversation especially since Emily had been the first one to point out that this rocky part of their relationship was more obvious than JJ had originally thought. “Here?”
“There’s a 24-hour coffee place a block away.”
She was going to have to face this sooner or later, that much she knew well. That didn’t mean she took comfort in the fact that they were going to talk about it now. In the long run, she was sure it would be better, but her stomach churned uncomfortably. Still, she followed him back to the table.
“You heading out?” Penelope asked, eyeing JJ’s face critically.
“Yeah,” JJ answered, trying for a smile. “Where’s Em?”
The blond waved a hand at her phone. “Text message. Apparently she and Boss Man called it for the night.”
“Already?”
Derek chuckled. “There was that incident at the bar…”
JJ smiled knowingly. Many a conversation between the girlfriends had centered around how possessive Hotch could be and how much Emily enjoyed those nights. “Don’t stay out too late kids,” JJ joked, trying to hide her apprehension.
“What kind of trouble can we get into? Seriously?” Penelope asked, her hands resting on her burgeoning stomach.
They said their goodnights and headed towards the door of the bar. JJ’s heart was beating rapidly in her chest and it had nothing to do with excitement. Apprehension warred with fear in her brain. How was she supposed to talk about what was happening? How was she supposed to explain to him why she’d thrown herself into Pen’s pregnancy, why she’d been basically avoiding him when she wasn’t fully sure herself?
They didn’t hold hands as they walked down the street. Spencer had shoved his into the pockets of his pants. JJ had hers folded across her chest. The only contact they made through the walk was when they reached the coffee shop and Spencer’s hand brushed her lower back to nudge her towards the door. Tables weren’t scarce and JJ tucked her hands between her thighs when they sat.
Spencer gave her a few minutes before prodding. “Jenn, what’s going on?”
JJ sighed. It was moments like these that she hated. These were moments where she’d just been out socializing, playing and goofing around, where he’d been awkward in the atmosphere and then they’d changed venues, gone to a semi-private place and he wasn’t the socially awkward genius anymore. “I don’t know.”
“How can you not know?”
“I don’t, okay?” she huffed.
Spencer had to take a deep breath. He was always worried when it came to Jennifer Jareau. He knew that for the most part, they weren’t compatible. Heck, they were almost exact opposites. She, the gorgeous butterfly, flitting around, enjoying nights out with the girls and nights out in general. He preferred not to be subjected to the public. He’d been the gangly nerd his entire life and often felt more than inferior to JJ’s friendly openness. “Then what happened?”
“People grow apart.”
“JJ.”
It had been a long time since Spencer had used ‘JJ’. A very long time. She looked away.
“This has been a long time coming, hasn’t it?”
“Don’t profile me,” JJ snapped.
“How else am I supposed to figure out what’s going on?” Spencer replied defensively. “Look, JJ, you’ve been pulling away for a while now and I don’t know why. I know it can’t be pressure from the team because we’re all in the same boat. I know it can’t be family because you never told them about us.”
Actually, he had a good idea of what had set her off. He wasn’t deaf, though he often pretended to be and he wasn’t blind to the looks that were shot at both of them if they happened to be walking down the hall side-by-side. He’d just never thought JJ would give into the pressure of her co-workers. Heck, they weren’t even her co-workers, but people who happened to work in the same building.
“It’s not working, is it?” Spencer said softly, his eyes fixed on her.
JJ looked up, tears poking at the corners of her eyes. She’d hoped she’d have time to fix things, to come to terms with what was happening. Then again, she had been pulling away for six months and Emily had been right, it wasn’t fair to him. “No,” she whispered. “It’s not.”
Spencer nodded slowly. He’d always known JJ was too good for him and subconsciously had been waiting for this to happen. They were too different and though he’d known that from the beginning, he’d taken a chance. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to find out that she’d finally realized how different they were. “So that’s it.”
“Spence, I-“
But he was already shaking his head, a sad smile on his face. “I knew this was coming,” he told her. “I knew you’d eventually figure out that we’re too different.”
“It’s not like that,” JJ protested.
“It is,” he said with another sad, but reassuring smile. He sighed, looking around. “I’m going to go. I’ll see you at work, JJ.”
JJ knew she should stop him, should try and talk to him, to work this through. While the logical, rational “ scared “ part of her was relieved, her heart was clenching in her chest and tears were at the corners of her eyes. She hadn’t expected this now. She’d fully assumed they’d be able to work things out between them. It hurt to see that he almost wasn’t willing to try.
Then again, he had been for months. He’d proposed they go out to dinner, called her to come over, and yet the only time she’d spent any alone time with him was when things were difficult for her. It was rare that she called him to come over when she’d had a good day. Those were days she generally spent with Penelope. JJ dropped her chin to her chest, willing the tears back. She’d been using him for almost six months and hadn’t even really realized it. Relationships were supposed to be mutual.
She left the coffee shop, one arm folded around herself as she hailed a cab. She needed to go home and cu rl up and cry. She managed to hold back the sobs in the cab, allowing her eyes to blur the passing scenery and held it together as she made it up to her apartment. Once there, however, the sobs took hold and she collapsed in her doorway. It took her a few minutes to calm herself down before she picked up her phone with shaking hands and dialed off of her speed dial. She wouldn’t usually do this, but she really needed a friend.
It rang and rang and rang. “Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up,” she choked out. She let out another sob when the voicemail picked up. This was much harder than she’d expected it to be. And it really, really hurt.
Aaron groaned as the ringing sounded again, less than fifteen seconds after it had stopped. He was perfectly comfortable in bed with Emily, his lips on her stomach. He’d managed to distract her from it the first time, but when it rang again, she looked down at him apologetically.
“Let me see who it is, okay? If it’s not important, I won’t answer.”
It wasn’t like he had much choice, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to admire her naked form as she dug through their clothing for her cell. Her brow furrowed as she checked the caller and he groaned again as she picked up.
“Jayje?”
Aaron’s eyebrow rose. What was JJ doing calling Emily so late for one. And why was she calling Emily and not him? He had to assume it wasn’t case related, so he watched his dark-haired beauty for any sign of what was going on. Emily had started pacing. Any other day he’d have drooled at the sight of the muscles in her legs tensing and relaxing as she walked, but her other arm was wrapped around her stomach as the phone stayed pressed to her ear.
“I’ll be there in 20 minutes. You hang on.” She hung up and looked at him, apology all over her face.
“What happened?” he asked as he moved to help her sort through which clothes were hers and which were his.
“JJ and Reid had a fight. She’s upset.”
“She needs a friend,” Aaron nodded. “How bad?”
“Well, from this missed call log it was her who made the first call. And she probably checked with Pen before she left so she knew exactly where I was and what I was doing. JJ wouldn’t interrupt if it wasn’t important.”
He believed her. More importantly, he knew how important her friends were to her. They had been celebrating, yes, but JJ’s pain was something he knew Emily would always respond to. It was that mother hen instinct in her that he adored so much. He slid on his boxers and hit the dresser for a pair of sweats. Her hand was soft on his back as she came up behind him, still naked. It was tempting.
“I’m sorry, Aaron.”
He smiled reassuringly, wrapping an arm around her to press a kiss to her temple. “JJ needs you.”
She sighed as she threaded her fingers through her hair quickly. “What did I do to deserve such an understanding man?”
He chuckled. “I don’t know, but if you don’t put some clothes on soon I’m going to lose the ‘understanding’ and take you back to bed.”
Emily laughed and shoved him away, moving to dig through the drawers that were hers. Her mind was reeling. What on earth had happened to make JJ call her in tears? Well, she knew the answer to that question, but it was still a surprise. She dressed quickly, throwing her hair up into a ponytail to hide how messy it was. She made her way downstairs, finding him on the couch. “Don’t stay up, okay? I have no idea how long this’ll last.”
He kissed her quickly before she headed out the door. Emily sighed as she locked it behind her, heading for the car she’d left in his driveway earlier that night. This was the last thing she had expected to be doing tonight. But JJ needed her. What else were friends for?