Breathe Me by persnikitty5

John stared at Joss, her question lingering in the air. He was a brave man and could face almost anything but the prospect of Joss rejecting him was not something he could handle. So he sat with his usual emotionless face and waited patiently for her to continue. He would gladly be her punching bag to release all of the pent up emotions that she had been dealing with for the last few days. John knew Joss well enough to see that this was not the time to unload his feelings on her. She was obviously holding on by a thread at this point.

Joss turned her head to look at John. She shook her head. Joss honestly didn't know why she expected John to answer her question but she did. At this point she wasn't sure what he could say that would quell her anger.

"You do realize that you basically stalked me John. You may have had your reasons but I'm not a number anymore; you did your job and I am grateful, I really am." Said Joss, letting out a sigh.

"This wasn't just about you being one of the numbers Joss. Elias is still out there, still waiting to turn the crooked cops in the NYPD loose on you. He got to you once before. You were a sitting duck when you headed out of town and I'm sure Elias would appreciate the poetry of killing you while you visited your dead husband." Said John calmly.

Joss was silent as she processed John's reasoning. She knew he was right but she did not enjoy feeling helpless. She was a veteran and a cop making her more capable of protecting herself than the average New Yorker but then Elias was everywhere, with a hand in everyone's pocket. Having Moretti would only satisfy him for so long though.

"We need boundaries John. Normal people have boundaries."

"We are not exactly normal. This…" He motioned back and forth between them. "…is not normal. At least not for me." He said quietly.

"What exactly is this John?" She asked, mimicking his motions. John paused a moment before standing up and walking to the door. He stopped before exiting and turned towards Joss and looked directly into her eyes." I told you once that you are not alone Joss. A well placed bullet is the only thing that will stop me from protecting you and your son." He stepped out of her door pulling the door closed behind him.

She sat in her apartment and contemplated his words. Joss knew there was something drawing them to one another besides the numbers. It was the same force that drove her to text him and in John's case the force that caused him to watch her these past few weeks. Joss felt she and John were on the cusp of something but she needed to hear the words from his mouth. She could push all she wanted but John would not budge until he was ready, she just t hoped that it was soon. Joss looked at her watch; it was still early and Taylor would not be home until the next morning so she decided to run a few errands before the shops closed.

John was content with watching her and keeping his feelings a secret until the proper time. However, listening to Joss question her ability to trust him saddened him. He thought back to the conversation that he and Jessica had before she walked out of his life and he would not allow history to repeat itself. He was not going to lose Joss. He had to make her understand the depth of his devotion to protecting her. Circumstances had seen fit to give him another chance at life with the arrival of Finch and the machine and eventually Joss. He knew from the time her number came up that she would be something more to him. John would use any means necessary to ensure the safety and survival of his new life, which in his eyes included Joss and Taylor. John's phone rang as he exited Joss's building and headed back to the library.

"We have a new number Mr. Reese. I need you to come back to HQ immediately."

"I'm on my way Finch." Said John.

The line went dead and John placed the phone in his pocket.

It had been three weeks since John last saw Joss. He decided to heed her advice on boundaries and therefore he kept his surveillance to a minimum. He occasionally listened in to the mic on her cell phone but that was just to ensure that she was safe. Fusco still kept the doll camera on his desk so John and Finch were able to keep the usual tabs on the detective. When Finch called John to tell him of the new number he was somewhat thankful for the distraction.

He was close to telling Joss his true feelings and John sensed that she felt the confession, it amazed him how she could understand him without the need for words. John also understood that when he finally told Joss that there would be no turning back. John belonged to Joss but whether she would have him or not was entirely up to her.

The number turned out to be pretty open and shut, probably one of the easiest that John and Finch had worked on so far. He did the usual surveillance on Debra Embry, a Georgia native with a voice as sweet as the peaches from her home state. Ms. Embry could charm money out a collection plate and she was well aware of this skill, which was the main reason she was in danger. John posed as a potential mark allowing her to sweet talk her way into his wallet, or so she thought. He saved her from the bullet that was sent by one of her former marks, a businessman she swindled for a few hundred thousand dollars costing the man his life savings and his marriage. John had saved her then promptly dropped her off at the police station along with a paper trail of evidence that revealed Ms. Embry's schemes.

Joss sat at her desk filling out paperwork. She looked at the clock, it was 5:30pm, she then checked her cell phone, there were no missed calls. Taylor should be done with his soccer practice by now. She usually received a call or text from her son, which served as her cue to leave her desk and head home. Joss made a point to spend at least one night a week with Taylor, preparing a home cooked meal and sitting together around the table as a normal family. She enjoyed her job but she also knew the dangers that faced wayward teenagers in New York City. She was determined to build a solid foundation for her son. She continued her mountain of paperwork for the next few minutes until her phone rang.

"Hey sweetheart, I was wondering when you would call." She answered. There was silence on the other end and Joss's senses became heightened.

"Is this Detective Carter?" Asked a male voice at the other end of the line.

Joss's brow furrowed. "Yes, this is she, who is this and why do you have my son's cell phone? Let me talk to him." She demanded. Joss kept her voice as neutral as possible. She quickly deduced that this man was not a threat; his voice was too weak, almost remorseful.

The man hesitated then spoke again. "Detective, this is Dr. Stanton at New York Presbyterian, there's been an accident."

John sat at HQ watching Finch as he looked over the live camera feeds that populated his screen. John did not understand how Finch could sit and stare at that thing all day. He was restless now that Ms. Embry was in the proper hands of the authorities and he rose to leave the library. John decided to take a stroll past the precinct to check on Joss. He would only stay a few moments; just long enough to see with his own eyes that she was safe and then he would leave. John stood up gathering his coat when he heard Finch's uneven steps hurrying towards him. John turned around and was greeted with Finch's nervous expression.

"Don't worry Finch, I'll only be gone for a few hours." He said smoothly.

"You better get to New York Presbyterian, something has happened to Joss's son."

Joss didn't wait to hear the rest of Dr. Stanton's speech, she grabbed her keys and ran out of the precinct; darting across the street to her car. Her pulse pumped in her ears as she drove to the hospital. She said a silent prayer that Taylor would be alright but she could not shake the twisting in her gut that told her that her baby would not be okay. She arrived at the hospital, walked to the front desk and flashed her badge.

"I need to speak with Dr. Stanton about Taylor Carter." She said. The nurse immediately paged the doctor and he arrived moments later.

"Detective Carter, please come with me." Joss followed the doctor down the milky white hallways of the hospital. She tried her best to remain calm as Dr. Stanton explained what had happened. They arrived at the room where Taylor was and Joss braced herself for the worse.

"The nurse has just checked in on Taylor and gave him some medication for the pain, I'm afraid it made him drowsy so he is resting." Joss looked at the doctor barely acknowledging his words as she opened the door. Nothing in her life could have prepared Joss for the wave of emotions she felt when she saw her son. She walked over to his side and examined his face, tears immediately filled her eyes. She listened to Dr. Stanton list her son's injuries but it was nothing compared to the sight before her. This image would be forever burned into her brain. Her son, her baby that she carried and tried so hard to protect lay in the hospital like a battered and bruised rag doll. Somehow he looked so much younger to Joss. Dizziness and nausea washed over her immediately, she quickly found a chair and collapsed in it. Joss felt her breath quicken as she felt the beginnings of a full-blown panic attack.

John made it to New York Presbyterian in record time. The emergency room entrance was fairly busy so he slipped in easily and made his way to the main area of the hospital. John noticed a small group of EMTs and decided they were his best bet. It was easy to pump them for information on Taylor once he explained that he was a concerned family friend. John turned the corner and stopped in front of Taylor's room. He saw Joss sitting next to her son as he lay in the hospital bed sleeping. John sat down in one of the chairs that lined the hallway. He wanted to give Joss some time alone.

Joss had calmed down after her previous panic attack, Taylor was still sleeping so she stepped outside to call her mother and update her on Taylor's condition. She didn't want to disturb him despite the fact that Taylor would be sleeping for a while. Joss stepped outside of the hospital room and closed the door softly. She took a moment to rest the back of her head on the door and take a deep breath. It was important for her to stay calm. Taylor would awake and be faced with a harsh reality. Joss opened her eyes and noticed John as he sat in the chair facing the door.

"Finch told me…how is he?" John asked searching Joss's face. She turned around and opened the door motioning for John to follow her inside. Joss and John stood at the foot of the hospital bed. She gave him time to process Taylor's condition before she spoke.

"Taylor was in the passenger seat, his teammate Ryan was driving. He is two years older than Taylor. The driver of the other car ran the light; he was speeding and hit the car on the driver's side. Ryan didn't make it." John watched Joss as she spoke; her years of working homicide ususally helped her distance herself slightly from death but her eyes were glassy and puffy from crying. She was calm now but John was not sure how long that would last.

They remained silent with John watching Joss look at her son. She didn't have the strength to speak about her son. John could see that, he was an expert in the many ways to destroy the human body; he knew just by looking at Taylor that the extent of his injuries was severe. John ran his eyes over the sleeping teenager taking inventory of his injuries. The curly hair that covered his head was shaved and the right side of his head held stiches about half an inch behind his hairline. That injury most likely originated from Taylor hitting his head on the passenger window. As a result of that impact Taylor also had a black eye and some bruising on his cheek. His torso was bulkier under the hospital gown which John gathered was bandaging for more than one broken or cracked rib. His right leg was in a cast and sling and minor cuts and some bruising decorated his arms. John could take some comfort in the fact that Taylor's injures, while they looked gruesome now, would heal barring no further discoveries.

As John watched Joss he was unsure how to comfort her. If Taylor were hurt intentionally he would hunt down the men responsible and perform the unspeakable acts that had become second nature to him but Taylor's injuries were not the result of Elias, a drug cartel or some gangbangers on the street. He was injured in a car accident, an accident that resulted in the death of his friend and the driver of the other vehicle. There was no one to kill, question or torture. John had never felt so useless before. He turned to Joss wrapping her in his embrace and stroked her hair as she silently sobbed on his shoulder.