Breathe Me by persnikitty5

She stood there leaning on John for what felt like a lifetime. Her tears had subsided but she needed the moment to release her emotions. She finally stepped back from his embrace wiping her face as she tried to compose herself. Taylor was safe and he would heal; she needed to be strong for him.

John held her gaze silently giving her his reassurance that he would be there for her, no matter what. He leaned in and placed a light kiss against her temple and motioned her towards the chair. Joss looked almost as beat up as her son. Her emotions had wreaked havoc on her physically. He pulled a second chair from the corner of the room and pushed it towards Joss and sat down next to her. It was well into the early hours of the morning and the hospital was mostly quiet.

"I think you should try and get some sleep Joss."

John noticed the almost vacant look in her eyes as she turned to face him. John grabbed her hand gently before he spoke.

"It's ok, I'm not leaving, you're both safe."

He watched as her body relaxed some and she closed her eyes. John continued to watch Joss until he noticed that her breath had evened out. He knew Joss needed whatever rest she could get. He looked over at Taylor once more noticing that he was still asleep. John pulled out his phone and sent Finch a text message informing him that he would contact him later that day. He then resumed his position watching over Joss and Taylor. John was sure the boy would not wake up for at least another hour or two so he sat patiently waiting.

Joss woke up to the sound of hushed voices. She slowly opened her eyes squinting as she readjusted to the harsh lights in her son's hospital room. The same nurse that checked on Taylor was now talking to John.

"Oh good, you're awake." Said the nurse. She was a few years younger than Joss with a kind face and red curly hair pulled back in a neat bun.

"Is something wrong?" Asked Joss with slight panic in her voice. She felt John reach his hand over lightly touching her forearm.

" Well Mrs. Carter I was-"

"Miss. It's Miss Carter." Joss said mostly to herself. She looked up to see the nurse eyeing her and watched as her blue eyes traveled from John to Joss then finally to their hands that were loosely intertwined. She cleared her throat and then continued.

"Well, Ms. Carter, Taylor seems to be doing fine. There seems to be no other injuries aside from the ones we have already treated him for. The doctor will return when Taylor wakes up and then we can go from there." She said offering Joss a smile.

"Thank you." Said Joss as she let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. She removed her hand from John's turning towards her son as she grabbed his hand a placed a kiss on it.

John felt a small twinge of hurt when Joss corrected the nurse. He knew the moment the woman had walked into to Taylor's room that she suspected he and Joss were involved. He knew it was probably a force of habit for Joss but it still bothered him. He also noticed the way she tensed when he touched her hand and how she removed herself from his touch after the nurse left. He realized she still was not ready and this was part of the boundaries speech she gave him earlier. He decided to take a quick walk around the hospital to give Joss some time alone with her son.

She held her Taylor's hand gently in hers. She did not want to cause him any additional pain. Her mind was racing, she hadn't meant to sound harsh when she had corrected the nurse. Joss had not been referred to as "Mrs." in a long time. She noticed the slight change in John's eyes when she had removed her hand from his but chose to ignore it. Whatever unresolved issues lay between them would have to be put on a shelf. She needed to focus her energy on Taylor and his recovery. Surely John could understand. She raised her hand slowly stroking Taylor's now bald head and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. She heard John shift and stand up, he paused a moment before heading towards the doors. She looked over her shoulder, sharing a knowing look with him before turning her attention back to Taylor.

John exited the room and began his trek down the hallway. He reached for his phone to call Finch and properly update him on the situation.

"Mr. Reese, how is everything?" asked Finch

" Taylor's pretty beat up but he should be fine. The doctor's waiting for him to wake up."

"Yes, I can see. I took the liberty of accessing his medical records. I took a look at the X-Rays. I've also obtained footage of the crash from the traffic cameras. He is a very lucky young man. Judging by the looks of the vehicle I'd say Taylor and his friend were bounced around like beads in a rattler. How is Detective Carter doing?"

John sighed. He honestly couldn't read Joss. She had opened up somewhat but she seemed to be closing herself off now.

"She's holding up as best as she can." He finally replied.

"Good. I'll be in touch Mr. Reese." John hung up the phone and continued his walk.

He returned to the room and entered quietly. John took in the scene of Joss with her head resting on the hospital bed while she held the boy's hand. He moved closer and noticed that Taylor had woken up. John starred at the boy as his eyes fluttered and squinted adjusting to the lighting in the room. He froze not sure what to do. He watched as Taylor's large brown eyes roamed over his arms, and then to his leg and finally he looked around the room. The teenager's mouth opened as he tried to speak.

"It's okay Taylor," said John softly as he moved closer to the bed so Taylor could see him. "You're in the hospital." He continued.

The boy looked at John, the panic evident in his eyes. He attempted to sit up further but winced at the pain that surged through his torso.

Joss felt her hand move; she popped her head up immediately and looked at Taylor. His eyes were open, and she felt the tension in his body. Following his gaze she saw John at the foot of his bed. She quickly looked from John to Taylor before speaking.

"Taylor, sweetie." She watched as he turned his head towards her; his face changed from one of panic to relief at seeing her. She smiled at him standing up so he would not have to strain to see her. She reached towards table next to the bed and grabbed the small cup of water. Joss brought it to his mouth helping him to take a sip. She rubbed small circles on the back of his hand allowing him a moment to adjust.

"What happened? Why am I here?" he asked in a small hoarse voice.

"You and Ryan were in a car accident." Replied Joss

He watched as the realization hit her son. Taylor brought his left hand up to pull at his hair, in what John could only assume was a nervous habit. Taylor ran his hand over the stitches, wincing slightly.

"Mom, where's Ryan?" He asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

John looked on, unsure of what to do. Joss's gaze travelled around the room before settling on John. He shared a look with her. "I'll go and get the doctor." He said and exited the room. John headed towards the desk area to ask for Dr. Stanton and inform him that Taylor had woken up.

Joss waited until John left the room. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew her next words would not be easy to swallow. She watched his face; waiting for him to give her a signal that he was ready for the news.

"Ryan didn't make it. The driver of the other car ran through the red light and straight into the driver's side of the car. Ryan died on impact. Taylor-"

"What about the guy who hit us?"

Joss remained silent and shook her head side to side. Her eyes had glassed over but she swallowed the tears and watched her son. Taylor sat for a few moments as an array of emotions moved across his face.

"I'm the only one left?" He whispered.

A sob erupted from his chest as tears began to flow from his eyes. The realization of her words had hit Taylor in that moment. Her son had changed from a headstrong teenager to a little boy in an instant. Joss reached around to embrace him as he wept. She placed kisses on his head and ran her hand lightly over his back.

John was able to get a hold of the doctor rather quickly and they rounded the corner back to Taylor's room. Dr. Stanton reached for the door handle but John reached out to still the older man's hand. He silently pointed to the small window in the door where they watched Joss consoling a distraught Taylor. John opened to door slightly clearing his throat to get Joss's attention.

"Sorry, Dr. Stanton is ready to see you." He said.

"Ok, just give us just a minute." She replied. She bent down to whisper in Taylor's ear. The boy raised his head, attempting to wipe his face and erase any evidence of his tears as Dr. Stanton entered the room followed by John.

He stood quietly by the door as Dr. Stanton approached Taylor and Joss. John focused on everything the doctor told Joss and her son; committing it all to memory. John had dealt with these types of injuries and had suffered through them more times than he would like to remember. He watched as the doctor gave a few overviews of what to expect as Taylor went through the healing process. The doctor then handed Joss the number of a specialist who would help her son with therapy for his leg. During the 45 minutes that Dr. Stanton spoke with Joss, John observed Taylor. There was no doubt in his mind that the young man had a long journey ahead of him to recovery both physically and emotionally. John recognized the distant look in the boy's eyes and the way the various muscles in his face twitched as Taylor tried to keep his tears at bay. He also saw the way Taylor squeezed Joss's hand like a frightened child, which is in fact what he was. In his young life Taylor had suffered two great losses; most adults would be warped and damaged by their grief but Taylor had someone that most adults didn't, he had Joss. She was one of the strongest people John knew and whether or not Taylor knew it, he now had John as well.

As she wrapped up her conversation with the doctor, Joss felt herself calm just a little. Taylor's physical wounds would heal but she was still weary of the affect that losing his friend Ryan would have on him. The doctor motioned for Joss to follow him to fill out the final paperwork to have Taylor discharged and taken home.

Joss parted ways with Dr. Stanton and proceeded to fill out the discharge paperwork. She smiled at the nurse in the window, recognizing her from earlier when she had checked in on Taylor.

"Ms. Carter," said the redheaded nurse. "I hope you don't think I'm overstepping but I wanted to give you this." She handed Joss a business card. "It's the number to a great juvenile counselor, just in case." She said, trailing off.

Joss examined the card for a moment then smiled.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

John sat quietly as Joss and the doctor exited the room; leaving him alone with Taylor. The boy's eyes still held their distant look as he unconsciously ran his hand over the bandages on his forearms. Taylor's raspy voice cut through the silence engulfing the room.

"Who are you?" He asked, turning to face John. Taylor tried once again to adjust his positioning and was quickly met with assistance from John after he crossed the room in a few large strides.

"Thanks," said Taylor as John helped position him and the pillows. John noticed Taylor look him over, trying to memorize his appearance. John smiled internally; he truly was Joss Carter's son.

"So..."

"My name is John. I'm a friend of your mother's." He replied.

"Like a work friend or..." He replied trailing off.

John smirked slightly. "Yes, we work together occasionally."

Taylor nodded slightly before continuing. "Are you her partner then?"

"No, I'm not a cop but I give your mom back up when she needs it."

John studied the boy's reaction. He wore a strange expression on his face. John wasn't sure if it was relief or disappointment.

Joss returned to the hospital room with a wheelchair; ready to take Taylor to the garage where she was parked. One awkward glare from Taylor and a few frustrating seconds later; John had managed to lift the teenager and gently place him into the wheel chair. Taylor mumbled a 'thank you' and they proceeded to leave the hospital. Joss was grateful to John for remaining at the hospital overnight. He was a silent wall of strength for her and she wasn't sure if he knew how much it truly meant to her. Joss smiled once again when John helped Taylor into to the car and once more when he helped her son up the front steps of their brownstone and wheeled him into he apartment. Joss noticed Taylor seemed slightly at ease in John's presence, which honestly made her feel relieved. Joss never thought of Taylor and John meeting but it happened and she was glad that it had, although the circumstances were not ideal in the least bit.

John waited on Joss's couch while she got Taylor settled in his room. By now the sun was setting as the evening approached. He could hear the muffled voices coming from the teenager's bedroom, it sounded as if Taylor was asking about wanting to speak with someone but John couldn't be sure. If there was one thing he'd learned from dealing with Joss; it was not to listen in on conversations unless it was life or death. So John sat quietly until Joss came down the hall and sat down on the couch next to him. He got a sense of déjà vu as they say beside one another. The last time John was in joss's apartment, he had confessed his feelings to her…in his own way. Now here they were once again, on the couch, both with an unconscionable amount of feelings coursing through them.