Made of Glass by KR Wilson

Joss walked briskly into the Westway diner and spotted a booth in the back. She sat down and opened the menu and finally let out a deep cleansing breath. It was her day off and John texted her to meet him there. It wasn’t a diner frequented by cops so that was a smart move on his part. Taylor was at his grandmother’s house then he would go to his friend’s house. So he would be gone all day. This was a rare quiet morning for her.
Her stomach growled loudly over the din of cooks voices and the thud of dropped dishes. She needed to pick something quickly before she ate the table. A whoosh of coolish air tickled her neck, footsteps. Fingers of warmth caressed her back. The menu she held in hands and her complaining stomach faded to the background as her senses attuned to him.
“Eating without me, Detective?”
She’d always fought to keep her reaction to his smile at a minimum, but now with her stomach clenching and the warmth creeping up her cheeks she was losing.
“My stomach was complaining.”
John not in his usual dark suit and white shirt tho time sat down in front of her. The dove grey color of his t-shirt played beautifully with his blue-grey eyes.
“What do you recommend we eat, John?”
“I like eggs benedict.”
“I’ll give it a try.”
John hailed the waiter and soon they placed their orders.
“You have another number?”
“There are always numbers, Detective. I’ll get to it soon.”
“So why did you want to meet then? Is Finch doing okay?”
Before he could answer the waitress set down their two cups of steaming coffee down then disappeared wait on other customers. John kept an eye on the comings and goings of the customers. All the while, Joss could feel the scope of his attention on her.
“Bear is keeping him company and protecting him.”
All she could do was nod dumbly. John’s eyes held her captive as usual. Like a drowning woman she reached for her coffee.
“Joss!” John’s hand intercepted her reach of the coffee cup.
“Yeah, John?”
“Texas…changed things.”
He had to bring up Texas. They had to share a hotel room. It would have been no biggee if there’d been two beds. There was only one and she’d hated to make John sleep on the floor. But he had right next to the bed. He’d teased her about her pajamas. She couldn’t help but stare at him on the floor, shirtless, and propped up leaning against the bedside drawers with a pillow behind him. His alertness was relentless. They’d been away from the heat of Elias, HR, FBI and the CIA but he still couldn’t afford himself a chance to relax a little.
But now a slight softness replaced the ever-present hard glint in his eyes.
“You once joked about fantasizing about me in back of your car…in handcuffs.”
Suddenly drinking her coffee to hide wasn’t important to her. He had to see they were a dead end. Slowly she lowered her coffee cup to the table then closed her eyes. She couldn’t risk looking at him.“That was before-”
“Me in handcuffs in the back of your car,” John shrugged. “Not so bad when I think about it.”
The words struck her heart to the core. She shook her head trying to block out what he was saying, but she struggled. Then she felt his fingers under her chin lifting her up.
“John? You-“
“I’ve been hollow for so long, Joss. You were the first to reach out to me six months ago.”
He’d been a mess that night. Scruffy and stinking but his eyes… so compelling even surrounded by dirt, grime and graying hair. At times in her quiet moments she played that scene out in her mind. She’d had no idea that meeting would change her life or open her heart.
John grimaced then took out his ear piece.
“Finch will have a cow.”
“I don’t want prying ears.”
“What about Zoe?”
“What about her?”
“I’ve heard a few things.”
“I won’t lie to you, Joss,” he continued. “She’s candy land-goes down easy and doesn’t repeat.”
Anger erupted inside her stomach. She pushed her chair back.“I don’t want to hear this.” She swung away from the table. The door of the diner in her sights when she felt his fingers like a vice grip around her arm. She wasn’t in pain but she sure couldn’t pull her arm away.
“You need to.”
His eyes pleading with her. Dammit! He must do this to all women. She looked down at him.
“I don’t know how long I have left.”
Neither did she. Lord, Lord. Reluctantly she slid back into the booth.”What Are you trying to say, John?”
“You’ve changed my life, Joss - you and Taylor. You know, I always wanted a kid.”
Unbidden the images came of her, John and Taylor at the table in her apartment eating breakfast talking over one another, laughing and being carefree. With it the undeniable feeling of regret and loss of alive they could never have. Her stomach clenched as if a fist imbedded itself there. “Uh-uh, no!”
“Joss?”
“Our lives aren’t normal.” She looked around at the other diners and the diner itself. With its turquoise cushioned seats and oak wood paneling and ordinary people going about their ordinary day there was sanity. She and John in their corner booth exuded insanity. So many crazy obstacles stood in their way, and he still hadn’t answered her about his other… asset.
“It’s our normal.”
“But what about Zoe?”
“With her I don’t work hard and its empty.”
“That’s never stopped certain men before.”
“A fool broke your heart, Joss. I won’t.”
“I’m a woman and a cop, not many men can handle this.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “I can handle just about anything.”
The hard glint returned and his smile faded. “The way you looked at me the night Syzmanski was shot…” He shook his head as if it was hard for him to remember. “I never want to see that look in your eyes when you look at me again.”
“I forgave you.”
“I forgave you for getting me shot.”
“So we’re even.”
“We’re even and a lot more.”
“I’m your asset, John. Just like Fusco is.”
“My equal, and other things we need to figure out.”
“I have my standards.”
“Those famous standards have made me step up in ways I couldn’t imagine.”
“Tell me something? The bag of guns you gave me, was that your way of courting me?”
John shrugged.”I was going for subtly.”